2016

It’s obvious to me which people have issues with alcohol by the way they respond to my non-drinking ways. If they’re at peace with their alcohol consumption, they’re usually cool with me not getting drunk alongside them. But if they have some demons there, shoulders tense and eyes narrow. This holds true for many things. We hate what we fear.

Worst day I’ve had in a while, sitting around the apartment, Netflix bingeing, eating shit. Told myself I wouldn’t fall into that today, but did anyway. Maybe I need days like this every so often. Or maybe it’s self-sabotage, feeling unworthy and undeserving at some fundamental level. I don’t know. Will try again tomorrow.

Often while traveling you encounter other cultures handling things in different ways. And sometimes you can see that it’s no better or worse than the way you’re used to; it’s just different, and it works fine for them. Other times, you encounter a culture handling things in different ways, and it’s simply fucked up and wrong.

Published that video last night. Getting some nice compliments on it, and it’s generating some decent subscribes and social media attention. The best part about that whole video project though was that it was entirely self-directed. I came up with the idea and was able to spend several days making it happen. Autonomy. It floats my boat.

The Olympics are happening. You’re probably hearing names you’ve never heard before, stars are being born. But consider this: there are athletes elsewhere in the world right now, not in these Olympics. They’re training hard for the next. Endless mornings in empty gyms, four more years of sweat, toil and sacrifice before we’ll know their names.

Got invited to an informal digital nomad meetup this eve. Fascinating hearing the different ways money gets made. One guy sells niche tees by the truckload. Another builds software for a company that finds rightful heirs to unclaimed fortunes. The more you hear these stories, the more you realize how much opportunity is floating around out there.

I love New Orleans, but having lived in Amsterdam for the past year, I can’t help but compare the two towns, and NOLA doesn’t come out of that match-up looking good. The public transport sucks, lots of people living on the streets, obesity is rampant, and it’s hard to forget that any passing fool might be packing heat.

Went and did the tourist thing at Keukenhof, which was beautiful, all kinds of flowers I’d never seen before. Though there was the usual insanity on full display at such a popular spot. Lots of people experiencing the whole thing through their screens, and willing to trample each other for the perfect selfie. Silly humans.

Coming up on a year since I moved to Amsterdam, gave up the vagabond lifestyle and settled in one place. I’ve enjoyed living here, but I thought I’d be further along business-wise by now. I figured the main thing holding me back was lack of routine, lack of focus, but perhaps there’s more to it than that.

A friend asked what my goal is when out meeting women. “Are you looking for validation, a girlfriend, or sex?” I’m not looking for a girlfriend, sex is great but I often prefer going home alone… so yeah, that leaves validation. Not saying I’m proud of it, but that’s most often what I’m seeking.

Another one of those days dreams are made of. Nothing fancy, just head down and doing the work even though I didn’t feel like doing it. The course hasn’t taken off as fast as I’d hoped, but then few things worthwhile ever do. Overnight success tends to take a while when you’re looking out your own eyes.

Decided to push the launch date back a week. I could probably get enough done by the 29th to launch as planned, but it would be too rushed. Finances will be tight, but I’d rather take my time and get everything dialed in good and proper. Started on styling work today. It’s all coming together nicely.