These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
Suddenly inundated with freelance leads, five this week alone, two calls with prospective clients this morning. This after two months with next to nothing. As a friend told me last week, it pays to be patient. “Business is a social game,” he said. “The person with the most relationships, with the highest quality relationships, with the best relationships, wins. That’s the whole game.”
2
We’re twenty people now, pulling tables together in this bar, laughing and joking and having a good time. Meanwhile, this guy’s been sitting alone with a beer for fifteen minutes. I recognize him, actually. He’s me, ten years ago. So I go over and ask him the question I so desperately wanted someone to ask me back then.
3
Packing everything again, heading to Las Palmas tomorrow, planning to spend the rest of the winter there. Leaving behind two sacks of stuff, having gone through all my belongings and purging relentlessly. Always a reluctance to do that, always a feeling of relief and lightness once it’s done. Sacrifice. It’s how you get what you want most in life.
4
Didn’t sleep enough this weekend, now staring down the barrel of a week-long conference. Could get messy. I’m supposed to be speaking in front of 100+ people on Wednesday. Gotta be fresh for that. Drastic measures called for. Skipped a pizza party tonight, stocked the fridge full of salads, will be in bed before ten.
5
Gran Canaria. You. Are. Spectacular. Big group hike today and we witnessed some epic views. Winding roads from the coast up into the mountains, massive ravines and cave dwellings, El Teide in the distance and pine needles beneath our feet. Then back to the metropolis in search of sombreros with guapas all around.
6
Staying a three-minute walk from the beach. Only €10 to rent a surf board and a wet suit for an hour. And the conditions here are perfect for newbies. So I get out there and try for the second time. Managed to catch a few on my own, and stood up on the board a few times. Going again tomorrow.
7
Heart racing, waiting in the wings to go speak in front of 100+ people. Practiced this talk a bunch and met enough of this crowd the past few days that it’s like a room full of friends. But I found out twenty minutes ago that I can’t use my on-screen notes as planned. Thankfully I’ve got backup notecards with the whole talk written out. Actually, you know what? Fuck it, let’s try it without them, too.
8
Well, I got what I wanted. Spending time alone with this girl, stole her away from the party and now it’s just the two of us in this tapas place, sitting by the window, closing in on midnight, me trying to listen more than I talk. And it’s nice. And I tell her I like her. And tomorrow I’ll wonder if I told her enough.
9
All play and no work… that’s been my week, and I’m left feeling sick and miserable. It’s been worth it – met a lot of good people at Nomad City and had plenty of fun – but now all I want to do is get back into a routine, to wake up early and not feel like like a zombie, to take deep breaths and break the smartphone addiction. To exercise and meditate and get shit done.
10
Phone beeps. It’s a match. Someone I know. Hmm. No indication all week that there was interest on her side. And she’s leaving today. So I send a message saying she’s a tease. No reply. I bump into her and friends later as they’re heading out and we say goodbye. No knowing glance, no lingering look. Like a different person.
11
Buying a bike. The guy here isn’t very helpful. I picked one out and brought it to him, asked if he could inflate the tires. Then he promptly disappeared. I take his pump and start the job myself. He sees me and rushes back. Soy el mecánico, he tells me, grabbing the pump. Fine, go ahead. He does the front. Then the back. Too much. The tire explodes. Well done, mecánico. Well fucking done.
12
Ups and downs with mi español. Felt like I was making good progress last month but the past week in Gran Canaria it’s as if I’m a total beginner again. Some lady buzzed the apartment today and I had no idea what she was trying to tell me. Sometimes I draw a blank trying to say even the most basic stuff.
13
Almost a year since I launched 3M1K. Someone asked me today why I’m still working at it so much when I could be making a lot more money freelancing full-time. It comes down to impact. With freelancing I can help businesses. With 3M1K I can change lives.
14
Waist deep facing the ocean, surf board by my side, sun on my face. Behind me on the prom there’s a big digital clock that reads 16:17 and 22°C. I look left and see several hang-gliders floating beyond the auditorium. I look right and see two beautiful women paddling shortboards out into the magic. Life is sweet and I am happy.
15
I’m good at remembering names. Was out tonight and met a bunch of people whose names I remember. Raul, Ana, Andrea, Marc, Adil, Nicole, Christian. Helps that I don’t drink. But what helps more is just asking people when I forget or don’t catch it the first time. And mnemonics.
16
It’s obvious to me which people have issues with alcohol by the way they respond to my non-drinking ways. If they’re at peace with their alcohol consumption, they’re usually cool with me not getting drunk alongside them. But if they have some demons there, shoulders tense and eyes narrow. This holds true for many things. We hate what we fear.
17
Speaking of sobriety, few things beat the feeling of letting loose on a dance floor with nare a drop of liquid courage. Hung back for the first few songs this eve then ventured out. A jazz band in the square, ripping out classics from all decades. Local tunes too, that we didn’t recognize but it didn’t matter. Strangers beaming and dancing, everyone belonging.
18
Shopping for clothes, checking a big table of v-neck tees when along comes a teenager – maybe 16 years old – with his parents. “How about these?” asks his mom. “Nah, v-necks look kinda gay,” the kid responds. Poor chap. Like me at that age, way too worried what other people think of him. I pick up three v-necks and head for the checkout.
19
Six straight hours today lost in flow, finishing off a little guide called the Cheap Flight Checklist. There’s something beautiful about those long, uninterrupted stretches of work, especially when you’re focused on something challenging, pushing up against your edge. That’s the deep work Cal Newport talks about, the stuff fewer and fewer people make time for, and which is thus more valuable than ever.
20
Thinking back on 2016. I launched 3M1K, spent time in seven countries (and two of my favorite cities), jumped out of an airplane, spoke in front of 100+ people, completed a 19km obstacle course, started surfing, improved my Spanish, dated some beautiful women, met and befriended some great people, upped my video game, read 30+ books, stayed healthy. Yeah. It’s been a good year.
21
Up at 3:45. Leave at 4:30. 45-minute walk to the bus station. 25-minute bus to the airport. Five minutes through security. An hour in the VIP lounge. 30 minutes to the gate, boarding. 4 hours in the sky. 20 minutes off the plane, through customs, bite to eat. 25-minute bus to the city center. 10 minutes to spare. 2.5-hour bus east. Picked up at the station. 15-minute drive. Home.
22
A weird thing happens when I’m home for a while. I tend to fall back into old habits, like I’m once again a shy, lazy, perverted teenager. So I’ve set a few goals this time around, have my Mastermind buddy holding me accountable. Nothing crazy, just enough to keep me on the rails. 50 push-ups, 50 crunches, and 5 minutes of stretching every day. And no fap.
23
Had $1,500 worth of free flights to play with via a credit card bonus so was online looking for an adventure this morning. Had in mind Bali at first, but somehow ended up booking flights to Taiwan, will be there April and May. $638 the cost of the tickets so I still have more than $850 to play with. Travel hacking for the win!
24
Catching myself checking my phone more often than usual, hoping for a message, or some other distraction. Why so? It’s loneliness, missing intimacy. This time of year you feel it more. But when I stop and accept and breathe, I’m at peace with it, soltero by choice after all. You can have anything you want, but you can’t have it all at the same time.
25
Walking back from old pillars with missing gates, having a chat, asking a question I’d been putting off. The answer is long but the essence is easy to get. Add that to my list of motivations, the reasons I’ll keep working and striving and building what I’m building. I have opportunities most don’t. And I plan to make the best of them.
26
The range of our conversations. We’d be talking about mindfulness one minute, basketball the next, then sharing perverted thoughts and cracking each other up with teenage trigger words, still hilarious half our lives later. Laughed so hard the other night on the phone to him I had tears in my eyes. Ah, the people I have in my life. I hope you’re as lucky as me.
27
To compliment a woman, to tell her she looks beautiful, or her hair looks nice, or you love the very presence of her, without hoping she’ll like you or fuck you or make you a sandwich in return. A simple, stringless celebration. Because the women in your life are beautiful, and you want them to know this. Because the more beautiful they feel, the more beautiful they become.
28
I’ve barely lived in Ireland the past ten years. Every time I come back, I appreciate it more. A simple rolling hill. Sheep in a field. Bird on a branch. Thatch on a roof. A crisp morning sky. The red edge of a cloud. An old castle crumbling and overgrown by the roadside, yet still tall and proud and apologizing for nothing. And those green fields, disappearing now beneath the clouds.
29
Started reading A Walk In The Woods last night back in Las Palmas. Three chapters deep already. It’s my kind of book: author takes on a big, interesting challenge and writes well and humorously about it. Entertaining and informative. Moonwalking With Einstein and The Year Of Living Biblically fit this mold, too. These are the kinds of books I aspire to write.
30
Found it difficult getting out of bed this morning. Almost talked myself out of it, but got up and did a bit of work, had breakfast, and by the time I arrived at coworking, two hours after I awoke, I was practically buzzing. What does that tell me? That I can’t take my moods too seriously. You never know how or when you’ll get a flash of inspiration, a buzz of excitement, renewed confidence. Every minute has the potential.
31
That’s it for another year. Finish it off with the usual 5:30am start, a few solid hours of work, a nap, surfing, basketball, and then a wander around town with my Slovenian flatmate, a 24-year-old with his shit together. We catch fireworks, dance badly and try chat up a few chicas. We’re mighty mighty men, young and in our prime. Let’s go round again.