2014

I saw a shipwreck this afternoon, couldn’t quite reach it on a dive. Thinking about that now in the dark. We’re on the last stretch to Portobelo, couldn’t sleep with the rough seas so here I am up on deck. Nobody speaks. We just sit, feeling the wind, watching the stars, occasional shadows towards the shore.

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes shit happens and it sucks. The Stoics acknowledged this, but they also saw each obstacle as a way to practice some virtue, never letting a good crisis go to waste. Accordingly, I appreciate that in recent days I’ve had ample opportunities to practice patience, acceptance, humility.

A twenty-minute trek, one river crossing, and 1,250 stone steps is all that separates breakfast from La Ciudad Perdida. And it doesn’t disappoint. Built more than a millennium ago, they say some two thousand people once lived here. You squint and among the stone circles catch glimpses of ceremonies and dances and kids playing games long forgotten.

A 26-hour bus journey ahead. I usually don’t read on the bus because of motion sickness. Twenty or thirty minutes and I start feeling woozy. But I’ve been thinking, surely that’s something that can be overcome, like seasickness or a shortness of breath at high altitude. The body can adapt. So today I’ll train my body.

Warren Buffett was once asked what superpower he’d like to have, and responded that he’d like the ability to read faster. Definitely feeling him on that. Blows my mind how much knowledge is out there just waiting to be absorbed. I read two books a week nowadays, but I’ll never clear my wish list.

Something I’ve started doing with every book I read and documentary I watch, is asking myself afterwards, “What’s my biggest takeaway from that? How is my life better for having read/watched it? How am I smarter?” Sometimes there’s no clear or obvious takeaway, and that’s fine. But more often there’s something valuable there. Recognize, crystallize.

I’ve had a hundred walks like this. Foreign city, late at night, all alone. New Orleans, Amsterdam, Budapest, Bucharest, Tehran, Mumbai, Kathmandu, Bangkok, Luang Prabang, Hong Kong, Chongqing, Busan, Kyoto, Cusco, Rio… feels lonely yet it feels right, a path I continue to consciously choose. No idea where it leads, or when it ends.

Random samba party, neighborhood unknown, three hours later than expected but that seems to be the norm here. A motley crew of a hundred-plus, standing and dancing and getting into it, everyone free. Every five minutes you’re offered a snack or a refill, community strong. Only thing lacking are Beyoncé’s ladies, but the night is young.

We hit up a Mexican place for soup and the chat turns to reflection. She’s been interviewed on TV three times this past month and made space after each to study how she did, pinpoint areas for improvement. First time noticed she occasionally looks up and to the left while speaking. Second time noticed she didn’t have great rapport with the host. Third time? Nailed it.

We talk about non-violent communication, about situationism, about really trying to understand where other people are coming from and not responding in anger. Sometimes though, I believe all that stuff is just and excuse to avoid confrontation. Sometimes, I believe an angry outburst is entirely appropriate. That’s all some people pay attention to.

Eleven days now on the ship, eleven days offline, eleven days atop a gentle earthquake. I’ve been spending more time on the bridge, paying a visit every morning to watch the sun come up. The captain handed me a maritime dictionary at dinnertime, complete with diagrams and illustrations. I leafed through the whole thing in an hour, can finally tell a bulkhead from a bulwark.

Wind sprints, vitamin D3, no more coffee, five hard boiled eggs right before bed, cutting back on canned seafood, brazil nuts hiding in crazy-expensive cereal, freezing cold showers, multivitamins, explosive pull-ups, grass-fed butter, raw almonds, five pharmacies on the hunt for cod liver oil, blood work at a hospital… and the mystery still lingers.