Momentos – Sept 2016

These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.

1

Been planning out my days and weeks more thoroughly on the calendar, and it’s giving me huge peace of mind. Can see very clearly now if I have time to take on more client projects, and having full days blocked out for different activities makes me way more focused and productive. Not sure why I resisted trying this for so long.

2

Admiralbrücke. Tis a bridge over the Landeswehr Canal in Kruezberg where all the cool kids seem to hang out on a warm evening and drink beer and play music. I drop by with a friend for an hour. It’s a Friday night, solid week of work behind me, tempted to stay longer and be social. But no, been in these situations before. They don’t get me where I want to go.

3

This morning is my reward. Sitting out front of an empty cafe by 9:30, exercise, meditation and a good breakfast already behind me, a good book in my hand and a cappuccino in front of me. I’ll stay here for four hours, finishing the book, making notes, getting where I want to go. Then I’ll float home, all in love with life like.

4

Before quitting nightlife, my Sundays would be short and lazy, trying to recover from two late nights and readjust my sleep schedule. Now I try get to bed by 11 every night of the week, and up by 7 every morning. Today, a Sunday, I cycled ten miles, did a tough 90-minute Freeletics workout, followed by a three-hour walking tour. Much more fulfilling than a couple nights out bantering with strangers.

5

Spent all day writing out a script and a shot list for my next video. Enjoying this kind of work. It’s a nice challenge, pulling a lot of different skills together, and I’ve been pleased with how the last few videos turned out. Not sure if all the time and energy I’m investing is worth it financially, but I’ll keep going for another while regardless.

6

Haven’t been dating at all here in Berlin. Was happy enough the last few weeks to focus on fitness and business. That’s wearing off now methinks. Feeling more of an urge for female attention, female company, that feminine energy. And sex of course. Will have to try get back into the swing of things while still steering clear of bars and such.

7

There’s a cemetery not far from where my apartment here, 160 years old, the most beautiful cemetery I’ve ever seen. I was there this morning, the sun slanting through the trees, a squirrel on the path and a robin on a headstone. The Brothers Grimm are buried there, and the guy who almost assassinated Hitler. Not a bad place to rest.

8

7:21am as we hop a high fence into an abandoned amusement park on the outskirts of Berlin. I brought gloves for climbing and pepper for dogs, have my cards hidden in my pack so they can’t ID me if we get caught. We’ll find broken dinosaurs, a rusty roller coaster and a lonely Ferris wheel. And we’ll only have to run once.

9

Another morning out exploring, hopping fences, shooting video. Very atypical for me as I’m usually a stickler for the routine, but I love that I can shake things up whenever. Rode out on the bike this morning with a big smile on my face, Cat Stevens playing in the soundtrack of my mind, thankful I can do what I want, find a new way, make it all true, make it undo.

10

I’ve lived almost entirely in cities since moving out of the country homestead at eighteen. I never much liked cities growing up, preferred the quiet and solitude of the sticks. I like them now, with everything available and convenient, especially social interaction. But I suspect I’ll return to the countryside eventually, be surrounded by more green, more animals, fewer people.

11

At Templehof for the first time, a former airport, now a park. I’m on a yoga mat, under a tree, ten others sweating nearby. I’m probably the least flexible person in the class. The teacher has us release three om’s apiece as we relax in child pose. On the second, a nice chunk of bird shit lands on the mat next to my head. Namaste.

12

Back in the Thunderdome this morning. Ever since I laid eyes on that thing my goal has been to traverse the “ceiling,” swinging like a monkey. It’s about 30 feet across, 13 feet up. I couldn’t even get a quarter way across six weeks ago. Today I traversed the length of it, easy. All it took was a little consistency. Been in there 21 mornings since I found it. Baby steps get you places.

13

Published that video last night. Getting some nice compliments on it, and it’s generating some decent subscribes and social media attention. The best part about that whole video project though was that it was entirely self-directed. I came up with the idea and was able to spend several days making it happen. Autonomy. It floats my boat.

14

They have this thing in California called Equine Therapy. First you choose a horse, and the horse you choose says a lot about you. Then you have to move your horse from one end of the field to the other without touching him. The way to do it is to lead assertively and he’ll follow. If you doubt yourself at all, maybe look back to see if he’s still coming, he senses your doubt and quits following.

15

Got a big long email today, asking me to explain myself on a bunch of topics. Why are you so focused on business and money? Why do you live such a solitary lifestyle? Why are you so self-scrutinizing? That kind of thing. And I could reply back, but the older I get, the less I feel the urge to justify how I live my life. I’m very content most of my days. I wonder can the people asking these questions say the same.

16

On a flight to Belgrade, you ask if you can sit in business class (no), you ask for a tour of the cockpit (no), you ask the fidgety lady beside you if she’s okay (kinda). On the bus from the airport, you ask people how to say hello and thank you in Serbian (zdravo, hvala). At the hostel, you ask to check in two hours early (yes) and if you can climb out on the roof to look at the view (yes).

17

A driver named Pavel is waiting for me at Boryspil airport, my name on a sign. He doesn’t speak much English, loves Chris de Burgh, greatest hits playing as we speed towards Kyiv. A certain song comes on and I hear a sniffle, look over and see Pavel wiping a tear. Once upon a time, a lady in red must have broken his Ukranian heart.

18

Tinder chat

19

Jesus Christ, Kiev. $35 for a three-course meal for three at one of the finest restaurants in town. $8 for a zip line across the river. $0.15 takes you to any metro stop in the city. And all the while you’re getting whiplash from the abundance of beautiful women roaming around. Was thinking Berlin every summer, but this place has me thinking twice.

20

Wheels just left the tarmac in Belgrade, five-day trip at an end. Eyes heavy and brain foggy after it all. Like the weather outside. Taking a breath… gratitude… remember. Had adventures, met people, ate well, stayed healthy. Above the clouds now, cotton wool carpet below. A pretty girl serving me orange juice. Tis a privileged life I lead.

21

Paid a German lady €120 today to shoot a laser at my face in an attempt to remove a couple of warty things that’d been bugging me for a while. Vain, I know. Was thinking not to mention it here but it’ll be in my next finance report anyway so might as well. Which is part of what I like about those reports. They force me to be more honest, more accountable.

22

Starting to get a bit chilly now in Berlin. But not to worry: booked flights to Tenerife yesterday. Will be heading there November 1st, planning to stay through the winter, get some good work done, improve my Spanish, learn to surf, try get a proper tan for the first time in my life. Should be a good spot for shooting a few videos too.

23

Doing this 90 Day Money Game with the 3M1K crew, and I set myself a goal of $45,000 in proposals by the end of November. Started slow the past couple of weeks but spent this afternoon submitting three proposals worth a total of $8,200. Back in the saddle again.

24

What do you do when you’ve arranged to meet someone at a certain time and it’s ten minutes after and there’s no sign? I used to stick it out, would always bring a book so I wouldn’t mind waiting. No big deal, I’d say when they finally showed. But it is a big deal. It’s disrespecting my time, the ultimate non-renewable resource. I’m not waiting around anymore.

25

Scrolling through my Facebook feed today and I see a pic from one 3M1K member exploring Japan, another in Tenerife, and a video from a third paragliding in Nepal. A fourth recently moved to Israel, and there’s an email from a fifth telling me he just landed his first gig at $75/hour. So glad I built that course.

26

There was an elderly lady sitting out front of the supermarket this morning begging for change. I passed her by with hardly a glance or a thought. Walking through a park later there was a robin redbreast struggling on the grass, a broken wing maybe. I stopped and crouched down and looked at it for a bit. And then I walked on again.

27

Awake at 3:45 this morning, all because of a decision I made yesterday… a decision to redesign my website. Now I’m obsessed, putting off other things that need doing to work on it, tumbling down the rabbit hole.

28

Sitting in a big classroom with thirty other people. There’s a man standing up front, sharing a quote with us. Winning isn’t everything, he says. It’s the only thing. Niall, do you agree? I knew he was going to call on me, because, well, I asked him to. But I had no idea what he’d have me speak about. Mind racing now as I make my way to the front of the room.

29

Skype call with my Mastermind buddy, who’s in Bangkok at the moment. Big launch the last couple of weeks with his business; they easily hit six figs with it. High level shit. Thought I’d be more envious on hearing that but mostly I’m happy for him. He does great work, provides a lot of value. And he helps me a ton with my business, too.

30

Got a new phone yesterday, has the fingerprint tech. Interesting how that kind of thing is almost ho-hum nowadays. I remember having my mind blown listening to live NBA games in Ireland and scrolling on an iPhone for the first time. I was even mesmerized by screensavers at one point. How quickly the magic becomes mundane.