Momentos – Nov 2016

These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.

1

Spanish lesson with a guy in Venezuela, via Skype. Forty minutes we talk. He’s a trained engineer, but inflation is so out of control there that he’s better off teaching Spanish online, pulling in $800/month compared to $50/month for his average countryman. He’s doing a run to the Colombian border this weekend, can buy rice there at a third the price.

2

Doing a presentation and two workshops in a couple of weeks at the co-working space here in Puerto de la Cruz. And yesterday I landed a spot as a speaker at Nomad City next month. I’ll be up in front of 100+ people at the latter, easily the biggest crowd I’ll have addressed. As per Psycho-Cybernetics, I’ve started practicing positive visualization.

3

A friend told me recently that the girl he was dating criticized him for crying. Second time he cried in front of her, she told him she never wanted to see that again. In her world, men aren’t supposed to cry. Well fuck that. In my world, a man who cries is a man who expresses himself freely. He’s healthy and alive and experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions. It’s your life, dude; cry when you want to. It’s not your tears that need to go, it’s the people who have a problem with them.

4

Trying to be more conscious of my thinking when I’m doing things like walking to the supermarket, washing the dishes, taking a shower. How can I use that thinking time more effectively? What problems can I work on solving? What visualizations can I practice? Not that letting the mind wander is a bad thing. But ideally it would be a conscious choice, not a random occurrence.

5

Cheat day. Didn’t have one last week because I didn’t earn it. Making up for it now. Maybe too much. As a friend said to me recently, why is junk food seen as a treat or reward anyway? It tastes good in the moment, sure, but you feel like shit soon after. Wrecked tired this evening and all that crap I put in my body surely had something to do with it.

6

Back in college I ran into a blind pick during a basketball game and fractured my eye socket. At home that night I tried to blow my nose and a big bag under my eye inflated with snot. Disgusting, I know. That was twelve years ago, but I still feel the fracture sometimes, especially when swimming. Water gets up my nose and seeps in behind my eye. Probably not a good thing.

7

A year ago in Amsterdam I saw a guy get up on stage and tell a story about his nine “friends with benefits.” Which would have been very inappropriate and in poor taste, except for the fact that he was gay. Interesting though, right? A straight guy telling that story would be labeled a dick. A straight woman telling that story would be labeled a slut. But when the teller is gay, it’s all okay.

8

You stand in the shower, avoiding the water, waiting for it to get warm, even though you know there’s no hot water and it’ll stay cold no matter how long you wait. But you wait a while anyway. And then you say fuck it and duck your head under and it’s shocking at first but then you get used to it and it’s not as bad as you thought it would be.

9

The thing that disheartens me most about Trump becoming US president isn’t the man himself. It’s his supporters. To be sure, not all of them are small-minded, misogynistic, xenophobic racists, but seems to me that all the small-minded, misogynistic, xenophobic racists voted for him. Now that their man won, they’ll be emboldened, hateful beliefs justified.

10

Been thinking of a night in Kathmandu a few years back, walking home from the cinema having seen The Dark Knight Rises. I felt a sense of urgency, responsibility, like I needed to do more, be better. Because there are people in this world – real-life Banes – working hard to bully and destroy and separate. We need more real-life Batmans to counter them.

11

Moved apartment yesterday, subletting a nice place from some friends now. Have it all to myself, with a shared pool in the middle of the complex. I’m still not a great swimmer, working at it. Gonna try get in there every day for the next few weeks, battle through the pain period.

12

Worst day I’ve had in a while, sitting around the apartment, Netflix bingeing, eating shit. Told myself I wouldn’t fall into that today, but did anyway. Maybe I need days like this every so often. Or maybe it’s self-sabotage, feeling unworthy and undeserving at some fundamental level. I don’t know. Will try again tomorrow.

13

I wonder if it’s a good thing to be living alone again. Having roommates the past couple of weeks motivated me to stay active, forced me to be social. Too easy while living alone to laze on the couch and not interact with anyone, for hours or even days at a stretch.

14

Bouncing back strong today, as I usually do. Solid few hours of work, a coaching call, hour-long Spanish class on Skype, great progress in the pool, finished editing a video, and been fasting since breakfast. Shouldn’t need to scrape bottom first though to rock days like this.

15

About thirty people showed up for my presentation this evening at Coworking in the Sun. Went well. Really thankful for the speaking practice I’ve had over the years. Toastmasters of course, the few times I’ve tried stand-up and improv, the many podcast interviews and videos I’ve done. All added up to keep the quiver out of my voice.

16

About nine in the evening as I’m strolling through old-town Puerto, on the way to meet friends but not sure I want this walk to end. You ever have those times when everything seems clear and perfect and beautiful? You notice and rejoice in all the details, wouldn’t change a thing. That’s me this eve, floating through the streets, violin music and ocean waves, a shining moon in the sky.

17

Third presentation in three days. They all went pretty well methinks. I still need to ask for feedback, definitely lots I can improve, but I was more at ease up there than expected, enjoyed the process for the most part. I’ll be speaking to 100+ people in three weeks in Las Palmas, now feeling less intimidated by the thought of that.

18

About twenty people here for my balcony guacamole fun-time get-together at the apartment. German, Polish, Italian, Dutch, English, Slovakian, Romanian… no Spanish actually, hmm. Anyways, it’s great having them all here. Must try host these kinds of things more often. Beats the bejesus out of spending Friday nights alone watching Netflix.

19

Decided I’ll stay in Las Palmas when I head over there in a few weeks, rather than return to Tenerife. I like it here in many ways, but don’t think I could spend the entire winter. It’s a bit too quiet, mostly elderly tourists roaming about, not much of a dating scene. Las Palmas is the biggest city in the Canaries, should be more my style.

20

Sun’s about down and we’re at a big old abandoned church hanging off the edge of a cliff. There’s no roof on this thing, but the walls are mostly intact. Some dude can be seen on YouTube walking along the top of those walls, braving the deadly drop. Mostly mindset that, well-trained attention. Put the same width of wall three feet off the ground and anyone could walk it.

21

Been a month now since I started experimenting with fixed-schedule productivity, as Cal Newport calls it. I get up at 5:30am and finish work by 1pm. Spend the rest of the day lunching, napping, swimming, practicing Spanish, occasionally something social. I don’t feel like I’m getting any more or less work done, but I’m more relaxed, having more fun.

22

First time surfing. Out there for about an hour and spent approximately 50 minutes of it paddling. Such is surfing, they say. Didn’t manage to stand up on the board but had a blast still, got a good rush a few times bodyboarding towards the shore. Easy see how people get addicted. Exhausted after and a banging headache. Totally worth it.

23

By paying most of my usual expenses through my new Chase Sapphire Reserve card the past three months, I’ve managed to unlock $1,500 worth of travel credit. Unfortunately, that credit can’t be used to book Ryanair flights home for Christmas. Guess I’ll have to keep them in the bank for a few adventures next year.

24

Ten thirty-six. Left a good time at an Irish pub tonight to come home and get to bed so I can be up fresh at 5:30 as usual. Not sure it was the smart move this time though. Discipline is good. Excessive discipline, not so much. But what’s really bothering me is that I didn’t tell that cute French girl I liked her before I left.

25

Been working on my Nomad City talk the past two days. Asking myself, “How can I make it fun? How can I amuse myself up there?” My answer so far involves adding a few game show-like questions, roping in a beautiful assistant, and throwing sailor hats back and forth with the audience. That should do the trick.

26

Today makes it 1,368 consecutive days I’ve been writing these Momentos. Although it should probably be 1,369 since I had an eight-day week crossing the Pacific that time. Who knows how long I’ll keep it up? The rest of my life, maybe? I like the practice. A little creative exercise every day, keeps me reflective.

27

Morning, meditating, noticing the senses:

  • Taste: still a hint of cinnamon left over from breakfast.
  • Touch: flip flops on my feet, patio chair supporting my weight, food in my belly.
  • Smell: nothing at first, then the slight scent of flowers, then nothing once more.
  • Hearing: mostly birdsong, whispers from neighborly wind chimes, light traffic in the distance.
  • Sight, once I open my eyes: Red tiles, palm trees, an ocean on the horizon, two paragliders in the sky.

28

Up at 5:30 this morning, straight to work. It’s 21:40 now and I’m just wrapping up. (Though I did break for a nap, some swimming and a Spanish lesson in the afternoon.) And I’ve been fasting since breakfast. So essentially I starved myself all day and worked way later than usual, but I’ll still be walking home with a smile on my face. Autonomy makes all the difference.

29

Speaking practice. Tis a very important part of learning a language, but not enough on its own. You still have to sit down regularly and study grammar. Which is what I spent two hours doing today. Now I know why these four sentences all use different words for “was” in Spanish:

  • He was a teacher
  • He was angry
  • He was here for an hour
  • It was a great party

30

Three weeks ago when I first got in that pool I could barely do one length. Now I can swim three without stopping, freestyle, head in the water and turning to breathe. So I’m 3x better than I was three weeks ago. Had to pause and think about that. Sometimes I’m so focused on how much further I can go that I forget to appreciate how far I’ve come.