2021

This kind of weather is fairly unique to Ireland: a light grey almost featureless sky, cold but not freezing, and a persistent drizzle. It’s nice in a way. You go out in it for a while and then come back in and have a cup of tea with the heating on and feel safe and cozy.

Decided to let go, stop stressing myself out trying to get tons of work done before we leave town. I’m my own boss, nothing is urgent, and I’ve grown the business 50% this year already. If someone in the same position asked for my advice, I’d tell them to chill the fuck out and enjoy some downtime.

I have a nice addiction now to the step counter on my phone, find myself eager to rack up at least 6000 per day and get it to turn green. Back in January I was averaging 3600 steps per day. The last two months I’m averaging more than 9000. Gamification working in my favor.

Been meditating more, trying to increase awareness of when I need rest vs when I can keep pushing. Today I definitely need to rest. But healthy rest. Too easy on days like this to go off the rails completely, eating crap, watching crap, trying to dig my way out of a hole.

Flying to Ireland day after tomorrow. I’m fully vaxed but not with a vaccine on Ireland’s green list. So I need the negative PCR test. Without that, I’m not getting on the plane. Two is one and one is none so I’ve got two separate companies coming today to stick a thing in my nose.

I have friends and family who I consider “high energy.” I’m not like that. My motor has limited capacity. On days like today, where I push up against that limit, I can almost feel parts of my brain shutting off. I can’t think clearly, have to sit down and tune out all stimulus.

On days like this, when the Resistance is strong, I try to remind myself that I’ll feel better if I can push through and get the work done. Whereas if I give in and do nothing, I’ll just end up feeling more miserable. I’m not sure if this is a healthy thing to tell myself.

Taxi apps really are amazing. Ten years ago in Tbilisi I would have had to call a taxi company, explain through the language barrier where to pick me up, wait who knows how long, and probably end up getting ripped off. Now I just tap a button on my phone and a taxi appears.

My last year of university in Ireland, I barely drank alcohol, passed up many house parties and nights out. My goal was to graduate with distinction and land a job in New Orleans. All through that year I told friends my next drink would be on Bourbon Street. As it turned out, it was.

I could hire someone to do this coding work. I can easily afford it, and they’d probably do it faster and better than I can. Thing is though, I enjoy doing this stuff, gets me in a flow state. Spent close to 15 hours coding the past 3 days, loving every slippery minute of it.

A year ago I was coming to the end of my time in Ubud, Bali. I have fond memories of my mornings there. I’d get up, do some quick stretches, then walk to a local cafe with excellent breakfast and coffee. Get there right at 7am and I’d nab the best table by the window.

Put a good bit of research into the new idea this week. Brainstormed and battle-tested it with a few people on Zoom. The deeper I go, the more it makes sense. Still not sure if we can pull it off, but convinced we need to give it a shot. Little to lose, lots to gain.