These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
I wasn’t all that happy until my early twenties, until I got that monkey off my back and began to overcome the shyness. Since then I reckon I’ve been happy most of the time, even at my old 9-to-5 job. Part of that’s because I’ve been constantly chasing dreams, and that chase is fulfilling. But another part is gratitude, appreciation. If you don’t practice that, happiness can be right there and you’ll never notice.
2
Added a new item to my daily habit checklist. More a question actually: did I read a book while eating breakfast? I find that my day gets off to a better start when I do that, starting out more proactive, more conscious. The easy alternative is to watch YouTube videos while scoffing the porridge, and that can all-too-easily turn into binge watching comedy clips I’ve already seen a thousand times.
3
Last month I did 5 minutes of breathing exercises every day, plus 30 seconds of maximum cold to end every shower. Didn’t get much from the breathing exercises, so switching that time back to my regular meditation practice. Liking the cold showers though, will stick with that for another month. Exact benefits are unclear but it doesn’t seem to deplete my willpower and there’s something satisfying about it.
4
Knocked off work early today, went and spent the afternoon with my girl, riding bikes by the river, past a place where they may have built the rocket that put Yuri into space. What have I noticed about Moscow so far? Plenty of playgrounds and outdoor gyms, an impressive metro, electric street signs, wires in the sky, sad apartment buildings, beautiful women and tough motherfuckers.
5
About 2,500 words deep into producing an epic piece of content. It takes time – spent about seven hours at it today and I’m not even halfway through – but the process is fairly straightforward. Actually, I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let’s wait and see if it gets the traffic I expect it to. Otherwise it’s just an epic waste of time.
6
Reading aloud: A real man doesn’t play mind games or try to trick anyone. She asks for an example. Well, the classic one is a guy waiting three days to call a girl he likes. Dude, if you like her, just call her. What are you waiting for? Maybe thirty minutes from now, I’ll ask myself that same question, and realize there’s no reason to wait any longer.
7
The comments that have come in about me and my girl. Lots of assumptions, lots of projection, some of them downright mean. I guess that’s what I get for writing publicly about our relationship. Could be worse though. Watched a YouTube star read her mean comments the other day. Horrific stuff. When you find yourself criticizing someone anonymously online, chances are you’re being a dick.
8
A local chap here the other day observed that I’m quite comfortable finding my way around Moscow despite not knowing the language. On reflection, it’s likely because I’ve spent most of my days the past ~7 years living in non-English-speaking countries. Plenty of practice. Travel to enough foreign lands and your brain learns to freak out less, figure out more.
9
Big day in Russia, anniversary of the Soviet victory over the Nazis, some 72 years ago now. People wear green hats and striped ribbons and walk the streets holding black and white photos of relatives and ancestors who fought and died for the cause. There are aerial displays and fireworks and marches and people singing old songs and dancing in the street.
10
This morning a great improv sketch appeared as an ad before a music video on YouTube. I watched and was enthralled, had a strong urge to click through and find out more about the artist. But I knew that would lead me down a rabbit hole, and I had bigger, more important, less glittery fish to fry. So I let it go, reasoning that we must pass up some things we like to get more things we love.
11
Tough travel day. Lacking sleep, bag left on the plane, dose of the scutters, bank cards not working, couldn’t find our hotel, drove the rental car off a ledge in a dark alley, had to get a couple of gruff looking local dudes to bail us out after midnight. My lady came through like a trooper though. I speak maybe seven words of Russian so she had to talk our way out of each mess while I stood there trying not to look like a dimwit.
12
Memories of Iran five years ago, when I rolled into town with little cash and found my plastic was useless. Then the mad scramble to figure something out. Same deal now. Except I’m also dealing with bowel issues. In a cafe on the laptop trying to wire money to a Russian bank account – harder than you’d think – when I’m forced to run to the restroom, only to be confronted by my old nemesis: a fucking squat toilet.
13
What this peninsula lacks in internet and infrastructure and decent restaurants and toilet facilities, it makes up for with spectacular views. Hired a guide and spent a few hours hiking through a park here today, lush greens and volcanic rock formations falling into a black sea, namesakes of the devil but good for the soul.
14
There’s a path carved in the rock along the water’s edge, leading away from a town once called Paradise. A champagne-making prince forged this walkway century before last, passing through an impressive grotto under immense slabs of stone. Legend has it the prince hosted banquets here, famous opera singers performing while dolphins danced in the bay.
15
There was a girl on the train the other day with nails so long she could barely use her phone. They looked great, I guess, but were they worth becoming disabled for? Give me a girl who doesn’t mind a little dirt under her (trimmed) fingernails. A girl who wears shoes she can walk in. A girl I can climb mountains with. A girl who reads books, across from me as we have breakfast, drink coffee, eat dinner.
16
She annoyed me today. Or at least I thought she did. Extreme Ownership reminding me that blaming someone else for my mood is a weak move. Take responsibility, Niall. What could you have done differently? How about being stronger with your boundaries? Stating clearly what you want? And what you don’t. Did you behave like the kind of partner you aim to be?
17
Walking down a broken suburban road, on the hunt for some milk for the mash. I don’t know where the nearest store is, or even if there is one nearby. On a piece of paper I have the words milk and supermarket written in Russian. I meet three teenage boys walking the other way, all in uniform, stop them and try get across what I’m looking for. They find me hilarious somehow, and beckon me to follow.
18
Today: rode a cable car then walked a rope bridge over a gigantic drop, almost a mile above sea level; grabbed good soup and salad and coffee at a place named for Pushkin; went for a ramble in the botanical. Twas all very nice, but honestly, after a week of frolicking and sightseeing and next-to-no working, I’m eager to get back to the grind.
19
– Do you accept Priority Pass?
– No, sorry. We don’t accept that here.
– And this is the only lounge in the airport?
– Yes, it is.
– Hmm. That’s too bad… Can we stay anyway?
– Yes, of course. The price is 4000 rubles per person.
– Hmm. Can we stay for free?
– No, I’m sorry. We can’t let anyone stay for free.
– Please?
20
Decided to stop being embarrassed about not knowing the language here, was walking around with my head down, shunning interactions, like I was trying to hide some shameful secret. So I’m not learning Russian (yet). Gotta own that decision and be at peace with it. Saying “good morning” in English is better than avoiding eye contact and staying silent.
21
Double date today in Moscow, with a guy I’ve known online for seven years. He’s married now, wife is due with their first next month, tells me they’d have probably never met except for a book I once recommended on my blog. Crazy the little things that make a big difference. If I had never made a quick YouTube video about the cost of living in Hong Kong, I wouldn’t have met my girl either.
22
Another few hours on a mega-article today. Up to 4,500 words now and might only be halfway there. The idea is to make it the absolute best resource online for that particular topic. I don’t know if I can say that about anything I’ve written before. Well, maybe my Becoming Unoffendable article, or the one about cargo ship travel. But this new piece feels next level.
23
Finally reading that Musk biography. Holy shit that man is incredible. I wouldn’t want to work for him, or be married to him, or be his kid – he doesn’t appear to be the most empathetic or emotionally available dude – but I’m glad we have people like him in the world, pushing hard to do the impossible and advance humanity. He may actually save us all.
24
Bus is packed, en route to meet my girl’s mother for the first time. Big beefy dude reaches across my face to hit the stop button, not a bother on him. Two minutes later, another guy does the same. The more places I visit, the more I realize that Ireland might be the most stand-offish place on the planet. I was indoctrinated into the cult of you-stay-over-there-and-I’ll-stay-over-here.
25
Short walk to the metro, change lines one time, express train to one of Moscow’s four airports, all smooth checking in and through security, grab free coffee and snacks in the lounge, write and send a quick email to my list, jump on a plane, less than two hours to Tallinn, walk the three clicks to the Airbnb, greeted by a Latvian dancer and a bionic cat.
26
Editing an interview from earlier in the week with a lady who earns $1k/month working part-time as a subtitler. Not even doing translations, just watching movies and TV shows in English and creating subtitles in English. That interview’s for my 3M1K crew, one of whom posted in the private Facebook group this eve that he’s landed a $3k writing gig. Beautiful.
27
Things I learned today about Estonia:
- Highest number of startups per capita in the world.
- Their national anthem uses the same melody as that of Finland.
- Tallinn is the biggest city in the world that offers free public transport for residents.
- They have different words for white bread (sai) and other kinds of bread (leib).
- They have the most supermodels per capita, and the highest ratio of women to men.
28
Pretty sure the cat here is trying to seduce me. Walked into my room earlier and he was lying on the bed doing some kind of improvised Mrs. Robinson pose, with a look like butter wouldn’t melt. I sat on the bed and began to work on my laptop, ignoring him, so he rolled over on his back and flashed me the undercarriage, then started with the tongue.
29
A few weeks ago I cut off the big Samsonite logo from the strap of my backpack. I try to avoid wearing or carrying any brand that’s easily identifiable, find it strange that people walk around sporting big Adidas logs and such, like human billboards. Way I see it, brands should be paying us to advertise for them.
30
It’s a different experience for me, arriving in a new place, especially one known for beautiful women, and not being on the hunt. Times past I would often have Tinder open before I left the airport, and the never-ending chase would eat up a lot of my time. Ryan Holiday once wrote that a great partner is the ultimate life hack. He’s probably right about that.
31
A friend of mine is a manager in a department store, told me once that they train staff not to say “no problem” or “no worries” to customers. Because those are double negatives. Even though they’re meant to be taken as positive, subconsciously they can have the opposite affect. Better to say something like “of course” or “you’re welcome.”