Momentos – Apr 2017

These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.

1

Usually I avoid reading and watching political stuff, because it can make you crazy and hostile, but today I let myself get immersed in goings on in the US, read up on everything Trump has been doing and saying the past few months. And I must say, he’s doing much better than expected. He still has plenty of haters and detractors, but objectively speaking, he’s been a capable and reasonable president thus far. I stand corrected.

2

A big, unshaven Spanish man is asking me to show him the other thing I mentioned. I hesitate for a second, then drop my shorts and underwear, turn around and bend over. “I don’t see it,” he says. I make an adjustment and hear him say, “Ah, okay. I see it. You can dress now.” We return to his desk and sit at opposite sides. For a minute the only sound is him tapping on his keyboard.

3

Recorded an interview last night with Conor from the Everyday People podcast. Good dude. Got me thinking about moments that have shaped who I am. A big one was that time I picked up a basketball at my cousin’s house when I was 13 or 14 years old. That changed everything, greatly influenced my career choice and led me to New Orleans, where I started to become a man.

4

Two weeks ago I wrote how sales were slow for 3M1K. Now five have come through in an eight-day span. Not sure if I’ve turned the corner or just a fluke. My goal is to have at least ten per month consistently by the end of 2017. That would make it a viable business, which it hasn’t been so far this year.

5

Haven’t been taking care of myself enough lately so set a new goal with my Mastermind buddy: every day, between now and May, I must do five minutes of breath work (basic Wim Hof routine), ten minutes of exercise and/or stretching, and finish every shower with at least thirty seconds of maximum cold. Any day I slip up will cost me $200.

6

On a big-time upswing. Was Netflix bingeing last week, zoned out, dragging. Now I’m in full-on build-create-connect mode, oozing energy and interest, no time for Dexter, checking boxes and shaking hands and planning world domination. Two more sales of 3M1K came through today, afternoon coworking, sunset beach workout, dinner with a friend, chat with my girl, emails til midnight. Go go go.

7

This morning at a crosswalk I saw a woman run over to a friend stopped at the light to give her a hug and a kiss through the car window, smiles galore. I’ll miss that about Spain. The physical warmth and affection. That little touch on the arm that men give each other here, every hello or goodbye incomplete without it. Then again, I’m writing this on the plane back to Ireland, wishing the fat dude in the next seat would give me a little more space.

8

Chatting with an old friend about my new lady. “What age is she?” I tell him. “She’s too young,” he says, with the insinuation that it’ll never work. And I just smile and let him keep talking. No urge to explain or justify or change his mind. What he thinks of my relationship is none of my business.

9

I started shaving approximately 20 years ago. At two times per week, that’s 2,000 shaves to date, give or take. I’ve done it a lot. I’m very experienced. Yet I, like pretty much every other man, still cut myself sometimes. Simple things that should be automatic, we somehow manage to fuck them up occasionally. Probably best then that we don’t trust ourselves too much, even with simple things.

10

Decided to do a few talks while I’m home in Ireland for the next two weeks, see if I can help and inspire a few people and spread the word about 3M1K. Going to try hit up Waterford, Cork and Dublin. And so I don’t spend forever planning and organizing these things, asking myself the question, “What would it look like if it were easy?”

11

Idea to execution, fast as possible. Have the Dublin and Cork events lined up, venues secured, dates set, invites sent. Waterford is looking good, too, just need to confirm the details. My answer to that question yesterday? Inquire at established venues and reach out to connected people. They’ve already done the hard work of creating spaces and building communities.

12

Someone asked about my 8-minute workout routine, with no equipment. It’s pretty simple. First stretch for 5-10 minutes. Next, pick 5 different body-weight exercises (examples below). Use an app like Interval Timer and set it to 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off. Then proceed like this:

  • 20 seconds push ups
  • 10 seconds rest
  • 20 seconds plank
  • 10 seconds rest
  • 20 seconds lunges
  • 10 seconds rest
  • 20 seconds burpees
  • 10 seconds rest
  • 20 seconds dips
  • 40 seconds rest
  • Repeat 2 more times

Go as hard as you can and you’ll be wrecked by the end of it.

13

Ten sales for 3M1K now in 2.5 weeks. That’s the goal reached. Just need to keep it going consistently. With these talks lined up and the content work I’m doing, finally starting to feel like everything is coming together and all the hard work is paying off.

14

Too many people hate their jobs, like this girl serving me in the cafe, obviously tired and pissed off and wanting to be somewhere else, anywhere else. It’s a chronic problem the world over: people doing work they dislike just to make a bit of money. Often not even good money. You’d think we’d have figured this out by now. Instead the majority are still slaving away.

15

Five us at the table, just like it used to be. This is rare nowadays. I’m reminded of that Wait But Why article. We used to do this almost every day of my childhood. Maybe 300 times a year for fifteen years. How many times will we experience it again? Once a year for another twenty? If we’re lucky. We’re at the tail end. Put away your phone, pause and appreciate.

16

Today was cheat day, so I ate ten slices of toast, five chocolate bars, one big easter egg, a bunch of small chocolates, a slice of apple tart, a slice of banoffee pie, a ham and cheese sandwich with mayonnaise, a handful of crisps, all washed down with several cups of tea. Feels good to indulge with no limits every so often. And now, I don’t want to see any crappy food for at least a week.

17

Reunion with some folks I used to work with in a department store fifteen years ago. That was a different track I was on back then, before I took life by the horns. I remember being in that job and envisioning myself at sixty if I didn’t make some changes, take some chances. Many people would have been content with that vision, they wouldn’t have changed a thing. Not me. I knew it wouldn’t be enough. Sitting here today, I’m very glad I made those changes, took those chances.

18

Driving back from Cork, about midnight now and barely a car on the road, singing aloud to Muse and Frank Sinatra to stay awake. Almost forty people showed up for my talk this eve, had to change venue last minute to accommodate them all. They seemed engaged, interested, stayed for the duration. More of this is in order.

19

That image of her as I closed the door to her room this evening, sitting on the bed, her back to us. “Thanks for coming. Bye bye.” She’s happy and comfortable there, knows she can’t live at home anymore. But it’s still sad, seeing her mental and physical health deteriorate. Her husband, my grandfather, died thirty years ago, but at least he went suddenly in his sleep. Let’s hope we get the best of both, that we live long and die fast.

20

Here’s something I like to believe, even though it’s (probably) not true: that reincarnation is real and each time around you get to choose your experience. So everything that happens to me in this life, my wiser, timeless self asked for exactly that, knew it would be worthwhile for me somehow. The highs and the lows, the ebbs and the flows. I wanted it all.

21

Out wandering the fields for a few hours this afternoon, across clay and crop and grass, over ditches and through woodland, seeing cows and horses, bees and bluebells, roaming the ruins of houses and barns where once there was life and love and big wheels carved by hand from the hillside. But now it’s all gone and long forgotten.

22

“I was in Vietnam once,” he says. Oh cool, me too. When were you there? “Nineteen sixty-seven.” During the war? “Yeah, I was there for two weeks, got shipped out because they put a bullet in me, went in this side” – he points to his waist – “and out the other. Lucky to be alive.” Wow. That’s incredible. My experience there was a bit different.

23

Missing that girl. Maybe too much. Don’t want to get all hyped up to see her, as if Wednesday will come and we’ll meet in Moscow and all will be right with the world. Because she’s human and I am too and relationships are never perfect. But still, I miss her, and Wednesday can’t come fast enough. Been four weeks since we kissed goodbye in Girona.

24

Another talk, Waterford this time, and again almost forty people turned up. But I was sluggish for this one, felt tense, didn’t bring the same playfulness and enthusiasm to it, and the audience responded in kind. Or at least that was my impression. They still seemed interested and stuck around for the duration, but not the same positive vibes. Totally my fault that. I can do better.

25

I did better. Gave a talk in Dublin tonight, was a lot more revved up for it, felt much more confident. I think part of it last night was using a microphone. Not used to that, and it threw me off a bit. Something I’ll have to get comfortable with. Tonight though it was a smaller space, no mic needed. Felt that good kind of tired walking through the city after, lights shining on the Liffey.

26

Off the train from the airport, en route to meet that girl with the green eyes and golden smile. It’s a dark and wet evening in Moscow, muted colors, rugged streets. My luggage is still in Helsinki and my phone’s not working. I approach a security guard at the station. “Costa Coffee,” I say, with a question mark at the end. He shrugs and looks away. And I just stand there, waiting for something to happen.

27

I knew Moscow was expensive, but was surprised to learn that it’s the ninth most expensive city in the world. Makes sense then that I’m paying €55 per night for a shared apartment with a creaky sofa bed and an uncurtained window above a train track. I’ll be eating lots of noodles these next four weeks.

28

Moved to a better apartment today, a 45 minute walk through the grey and drizzle with everything I own. At one point I passed a big office building and saw all the 9-to-5ers huddled outside, on coffee and cigarette breaks, their day dictated by someone else’s clock. I checked in to my new place around the corner, got groceries nearby in a quiet supermarket, then went and had a nice nap for myself.

29

Approaching Red Square with the sun already down. There’s a fire burning outside the Kremlin that’s never put out. A little to the left and we see through an arch the candy-land domes of a five-hundred-year-old cathedral, behind which public executions were once held. Across from the tower there’s a stone platform known as the place of skulls. And myself and a thousand other tourists stop and smile for selfies.

30

Got asked in the comments if me and my girl are exclusive. I didn’t reply, because it annoyed me and I considered it disrespectful, like walking up to someone on the street and saying, “Hey, you don’t know me, but do you and your partner fuck other people?” But then I got to thinking that there must be something to the question if it bothered me so much.