These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
In a bar with some friends, glance towards the door and see a beautiful woman standing there, just my type. Such a sight would have tormented me two months ago. Will I go talk to her? Is she here alone? What will I say? But now I have a girlfriend, I’m off the hook. That first glance her way is also my last. I turn attention back to my friends, at peace.
2
I’ve heard said that the opposite of a truth is a lie, but the opposite of a great truth is another great truth. Here are what I believe to be two great truths: you must always keep working to improve yourself, to become better, wiser, stronger. And at the same time, you must believe that you, in this very moment, are enough.
3
Set another $1k penalty with my mastermind buddy. If I don’t get the new 3M1K marketing funnel finished and launched before I leave for Portugal on the 14th, I gotta pay. So putting in long days and trying to cut the fluff to get this done. Doesn’t help that I’ll be homeless this day next week. Neglected to extend my reservation at the coliving and they’re all booked up now.
4
Floating through the streets of Las Palmas, dressed ridiculous in floral shirt, floral pants, big curly wig. The music is pumping, the scene never-ending, 160,000 people dancing costumed in the calles. Angels, mermaids, bananas, queens, cartoons and superheroes. I knew Carnaval was going to be crazy, but this is a whole other level.
5
Carnaval has been going on for a couple of weeks but yesterday was my only taste of it, focused as I am on work stuff. Got to bed before midnight and working all day today on a webinar for 3M1K. Liking how it’s coming together, packed with helpful info for people who want to work online. And I managed to squeeze in cameos from Vincent Van Gogh, Homer Simpson, and a hedgehog.
6
Lay awake for three hours last night, stressed, trying to figure out how I’m going to fulfill every commitment I’ve made for the next couple of months. In the end I decided to bail on a $6k client project. Should never have signed up for it in the first place. It’s a cool project, but it would require at least 150 hours of my time and effort before the end of April. That’s time and effort I should be investing in 3M1K.
7
It really is one long game of adjustments, isn’t it, this life thing. You try something, it doesn’t work, you change course, try something else, that works a bit better, you stick with it, try push it further, hit a wall, pick yourself up and try again… and on and on and on. You never get to a point where you have it all figured out. Nobody does.
8
Email from a 3M1Ker: “All in all, Niall, your course allowed me to change my life and start an entirely new career. A year ago I didn’t even know what copywriting was or that people did such incredible professions from anywhere in the world. And now, I’m doing it myself and earning decent money. It’s so empowering, I can’t even express. I know it’s only the beginning, but thanks for this!”
9
Insomnia, my old friend. Been lying restless late and often waking before my alarm the past couple of weeks. Tends to happen when I’m working a lot, especially on my own stuff. I’ve found it is best to make friends with it though. Just accept when sleepy time ain’t happening. Read a book or go do something. Helps of course that I have a flexible schedule and can have a catch-up nap during the day.
10
Spectacular weather lately, and we’re always five from the shore in Las Palmas so down there this afternoon making the most of it. Some women go topless on the beach here. I like that. Not just the sight of boobies, but also the fact that it’s no big deal. I’m all for clothing optional on beaches. Not enough of our naughty bits see sunshine.
11
In the office before seven on a Saturday for a hardcore recording sesh. Pumped out a webinar and seven videos. Also squeezed in some buddy burger time and a little solo sunset appreciation. Only have about two weeks total left in this town. Well, this time around. Aiming to be back here next winter. Lots to like.
12
Recorded a four-minute video this morning and hired a freelancer on Fiverr to create Russian subtitles. Several hours later, a worried mom somewhere in Moscow was reassured that I will always respect her daughter, that I will always treat her well, and that I will always do my best to keep her safe. She has my word.
13
Epic work day, trying to finish up a bunch of stuff and avoid that $1k penalty before heading off to Portugal tomorrow. Been fasting since breakfast and skipped my usual midday nap as well. Pretty exhausted now, but it feels good at the same time, proud of the work I’m doing and excited to push it out into the world.
14
At a lounge, Terminal 2, Madrid–Barajas, between bites of lasagna writing two thousand people five hundred words about freedom. I’ll be meeting my girl in a couple of hours. Would never have met her in the first place if not for this, can pack a bag and move halfway across the world on a whim, knowing I can earn from anywhere. It never gets old.
15
Found a nice little place by a rocky beach with white umbrellas and a comfy love seat. We cuddle up there and watch the waves meet the shore and the sun meet the sea and stay until her glass is empty and my heart is full and Venus and Orion have come shining in the sky.
16
A question I like to ask: who is your best friend, and why. The answer usually reveals a lot about a person. Asked my lady that question today, and she told me her ex-boyfriend is her best friend. I find this comforting. It’s strange to me how a couple can be so close, then break up and never speak again. Assuming there was no betrayal and you still like the person, why wouldn’t you want to keep them in your life?
17
Nazare, Portugal. Look it up. Home to the biggest waves in the world. Five years ago some dude broke a record surfing an eight-story screamer off these shores. And now here we are, on the beach in the dark, and I’m watching her at the edge, playing her game with the waves, half-terrified that the ocean will rise up and swallow that beautiful life and I’ll never find another like it.
18
Near the westernmost point of continental Europe, there’s a beach named Ursa, barely signposted and only accessible via steep hike. Some say it’s among the most beautiful beaches in the world. Maybe so, but we’re here after dark, picnicking high on the hillside, and can see only what the starlight wants to show us.
19
Caution to the wind, change of plan, went back there today with the big star in the sky. Several hours late dropping off the rental car and checking into our place in Lisbon but totally worth it. There’s something inside me that resists changing course, deviating from a plan, even when it makes sense… that stubborn streak that’s often a gift, but sometimes a curse. This girl helps me hone it.
20
She’s giddy tonight, wanting to do and have everything at once. Sunset, wine, cheese, all of it ahorita, never mind that it’s impossible. I’m cold and sluggish, would rather head home than dance in the park or go frolic in the playground. But I keep placating. And once we’re high atop the climbing frame she turns and she says, “You shouldn’t have let me come up here.”
21
Launched a new funnel for 3M1K last week. Haven’t pushed any fresh traffic through but still expected to see a few sales by now. Instead… none. Frustrating, gotta admit. The course content is solid and the reviews and testimonials are overwhelmingly positive, yet people still seem hesitant to give it a shot. My marketing is falling short somehow.
22
Leaving Lisbon, in traffic on a bus to the airport, and a little girl in the backseat of a car next to us turns and smiles and waves. And we smile and wave back. And then she’s gone. And that’s most likely the only time our paths will ever cross, the only moment we’ll ever share in our long lives on this small rock in a vast universe. It was nice.
23
Breakfast on the beach in Barcelona, with a supermarket creation we decide to call “homeless porridge.” Then it’s off around town on a rented scooter to visit a few of Gaudí’s creations. A dance at the fountain, a couple of casas, the Pedrera and the park. We’ll get to la Sagrada mañana.
24
When we first met, I wasn’t sure how the money issue would play out, if she’d expect me to pay for everything, which I simply can’t afford to do. But it’s been fine. I earn more than her, so I’m happy to pay more and treat her regularly, but she also offers to pay occasionally and sometimes I even ask her to treat me. We communicate well, and that makes everything easier.
25
Girona. Floating up and down medieval streets and steps and steeples, stopping for jamón and queso, later coffee with a buttered croissant and a caramel slice. It’s the twelfth and final day of this jaunt, a dozen consecutive days together. Remarkable really that we’re still crazy about each other. Even more so now, because we’ve both seen the moods and experienced the annoyances and still the warm fuzzy feels.
26
Like a zombie at the airport, running on less than four hours of sleep, one of those on a bus. Straight to the nap room at the lounge and all laid out for a much-needed 90-minute siesta, then a feast of sandwiches and tomato juice. Rolling towards B51 a little later with Bruce in my ears and a spring in my step, smiling at myself and all the other beautiful people.
27
Gran Canaria again, at the coworking wading through feedback and ideas for 3M1K, trying to figure out next steps. One thing is clear: I need to get back to writing articles and making videos regularly. That was mainly how I built a following my first few years, and growth has stagnated since I quit the twice-weekly schedule.
28
Bit of a weird living situation at the moment. Sharing a small apartment with a lady and two boys with severe cerebral palsy. At least I think that’s what they have. And part of me is curious and wants to sit down and talk to the lady in my unfluent Spanish and learn more about their condition, but a bigger part of me isn’t willing to put forth the effort. So I keep to myself, pleasant and polite but only speaking when spoken to.
29
Ninety-minute yoga class on the beach this eve, making the most of the perfect weather and extended tardes. I love an active city, and Las Palmas is definitely that. From my side crane I see people swimming, boating and kayaking in the water, others running and playing volleyball in the sand.
30
Two days ago I went to an Authentic Relating Games thingy, and one of the games they had us play was to stand up in front of everybody and say something you were a little uncomfortable admitting, following it with the question, “Anyone else?” So… today I felt very sluggish and introverted and spent all afternoon and evening in bed, avoiding human interaction and binge-watching Netflix. Anyone else?
31
Chatting with my lady. She’s back in Moscow. I’ve been figuring out the visa stuff, should be headed her way at the end of April for a 30-day visit, and we’ll likely take a quick trip to Crimea while I’m there. After that, thinking maybe Japan, Amsterdam, London. We’ll see. The visa stuff makes it complicated, but we’ll figure it out.