Momentos – Jan 2017

These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.

1

“Some people, were born to sit by a river. Some get struck by lightning. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people, dance.”

2

Evening, after dark, running on the beach. There’s a slice of moon up ahead, sandwiched by Mars and Venus, coming closer with every stride. It’s hard not to smile when I step on to this sand and take off running, like I know something no one else knows.

3

Went surfing a few days ago and got my ass kicked. Today was better. Stood up on the board more times than not, rode several waves all the way to the shore. I know I’ll have more of those rough surfing days though. It’s like that with lots of things. Just when you think you’re getting the hang of it, you find yourself humbled again.

4

I’ve pretty much given up setting deadlines for my own projects. I rarely seem to meet them anyway — freelance work usually gets in the way — and it’s stressful trying. As long as I’m making steady progress, that’s good enough. I’ll get there eventually, and I can relax a little more along the way.

5

Back out surfing this eve. Waves not as good today, but that’s perfect in its own way. When one comes along, you try catch it. When one doesn’t, you float in the ocean, resting on your board, taking in the spectacle of a setting sun behind the auditorio, the sky all aglow and the silhouette of a steel fish somehow spectacular.

6

Turned down an offer to collaborate on a big freelance project yesterday, could have been worth up to €18k, a decent chunk of that going to me. But the client sounded like a bit of a nightmare, and I could see it all devolving into a frustrating slog. As per Derek Sivers, if you don’t find yourself saying “Hell Yeah!” to an opportunity, it should be an automatic no.

7

One key indicator of happiness for me is how I eat. Not what I eat, but how I eat. When I’m more relaxed and content, I eat slow, swallowing and appreciating each bite before loading up again. After basketball today we went to a burger house for an epic meal. And I enjoyed it all the more because I ate it slow, savored it completely.

8

Tired now, but it’s the good kind of tired, tired because I did a lot of worthwhile stuff this week, the kind of tired Hunter Thompson had in mind when he wrote, Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

9

We’ve got a great crew in the apartment, three of us on the same wavelength, bouncing and learning from each other. I was showing them my productivity systems the other day and realized that yeah, I do have a lot of routines and I do track a ton of shit. The trick is to know when to stick to it all, and when to say fuck it, I need a break. Strive to be the master of your systems, never their slave.

10

Fourth day in a row with at least an hour of Spanish speaking practice, via teachers on Skype. Used to be that even thirty minutes of speaking Spanish left me exhausted, my brain fried. So this is definitely progress. I’m not actually speaking it much out and about here in Las Palmas though. Must work on that.

11

A simple prompt this morning: as you go about your day, silently wish happiness for whomever you encounter. Friends, strangers, doesn’t matter. Young guy walking past the front door of my building. Truck driver on the road. Security guard outside a store. Old lady at a crosswalk. A whole bunch of people at coworking. Turns out wishing happiness for others makes you pretty happy yourself.

12

Been under the weather the past few days and have had trouble sleeping. Had to skip surfing a couple of times, no early mornings. But this evening I made myself get out and go for a walk on the beach. Just five minutes out of the apartment and you’re stepping on sand. It was glorious down there, the sky all aflame and a beautiful woman saluting a sunken sun.

13

Quoted five figures for another project that came my way recently. Had a call with the guy about it today, felt very relaxed chatting with him. Maybe I’m getting used to these kinds of calls. Or maybe it’s that I don’t really need this project, given how much freelance work I currently have on. But most of all it’s probably Jacob’s coaching that’s affected me. Feeling more centered, at peace.

14

At the edge again. No board this time, just me and the waves. I try stand strong against some, keep my footing while they crash through me. Dive beneath others, feel them tugging at my heels. Float atop still more before the break. I’m a tiny speck of consciousness on a wet rock lost in a vast universe. Then again: “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”

15

Had a call with a tax professional today, to see what I’m on the hook for now that my business is registered in the USA. As a one-person LLC, the tax burden is passed along to the individual, but then I’m not a US citizen or resident. So does that mean I’m not obligated to pay any taxes in the US? Looks that way, yeah. Nor anywhere else, so long as I keep moving.

16

Perhaps a good measure of a society, or a group, or an individual: how do they treat those with a different point of view? Someone called me a pussy today because I don’t share his beliefs. I’m not sure what that accomplishes. Maybe it makes him feel good or superior, and maybe that’s all he needs. But it doesn’t help me see the world the way he sees it. Shouldn’t that be his aim?

17

Was supposed to have a chat with my Spanish teacher yesterday about him using his phone during our Skype calls. It was bugging me, and I needed to say something. Told some people I would. But then I didn’t. And now they’re asking me how it went. Damn accountability. Painted myself into a corner. Which is exactly what I needed.

18

One of the downsides of working for yourself: you have to make all the decisions. Okay, so that can be a positive too, but on days like this, when I’m feeling sick and burnt out, I just want to crawl into bed and shut out the world and not have to decide everything myself.

19

Read a quote from Tony Robbins recently: “‘Stressed’ is the achiever word for ‘fear.’” That hits home. Whenever I’m stressed, I need to ask myself, “What am I afraid of?” Often I’m afraid of having a difficult conversation, setting/enforcing boundaries, or missing out on an opportunity. Tackling that fear relieves the stress.

20

I get in a zone when I’m working and hate to be interrupted. Pretty sure I often come across rude at coworking. Sometimes I won’t even notice people walking by, saying hello. Other times I’ll notice but won’t acknowledge them in case they take it as an invite to come chat. When they come chat anyway, I’m not very engaging. I don’t know how people can be social all the time and actually get shit done.

21

We’re at Roque Nublo, the rock in the clouds, at the center of the island. Apparently it was a sacred site for the indigenous people here long ago, and they may or may not have performed human sacrifices to appease their sun god. Which is all very interesting, but I have a sudden urge to dance with a bunch of people, so we round up some strangers and let loose.

22

A coach used to say to us all the time, “Basketball is a simple game. Players just complicate it.” Standing looking at El Teide on a fading horizon this eve, sea water lapping at my sandy feet, music from a half century ago in my ears, I was thinking how the same is true of this life lark. Often we know what to do, solutions rarely complicated. Except in our heads.

23

On a call with these two gents, one in Chicago, one in Bali, me in the middle. It’s late but they have me pumped about this project we’ll be collaborating on. It will be a lot of work for me the next few months, mostly video stuff. But through the guise of helping people start a blog we’re going to open doors, expand minds and change lives.

24

Waves are rough and the tide is low. After twenty minutes fighting to catch one, one catches me, hard. I face plant on a sandbar, my head staying put while the rest of me keeps going. I hear and feel my neck crack and a previously unimagined future flashes through my brain. A minute later I’m sitting on the beach, body intact but mind a bit shook. That’ll do for today.

25

How well can you direct your attention? That really is the essence of happiness right there. Not what happens to you, but what you think about what happens to you. You have limited control over the former, complete control over the latter. Well, in theory anyway. Easier said than done, I know.

26

I used to like having my own place, but man, if you’ve got cool flatmates, sharing is way better. I would sometimes go three days or more in Amsterdam and Berlin without any significant social interaction, and it was tough after that to go out and meet people, to flip back to social mode. With this setup in Las Palmas, being social is just a natural part of every day.

27

This time is just practice for the next time. No big deal. Do the scary thing now and it will be less scary in future. You’ll have the experience, know that it doesn’t kill you, that it really does make you stronger. For example, I spoke in front of 100+ people last month. Tonight I spoke in front of ~20 and it felt like a breeze.

28

She tells me some guy approached her on the street a half hour ago, broad daylight. He was funny, charming, direct, told her she was gorgeous, that he’d love to know her better. She was impressed. And I’m kicking myself because I’ve been that guy before but haven’t been lately. Especially with her.

29

Facebook is my main source of news these days, but even that’s becoming too much. Hearing what crazy new shit Trump’s saying or doing isn’t even the worst part. It’s the comments. Everybody out to prove themselves right and everyone else an idiot. And nobody listens. Nobody changes their mind. None of it makes a positive difference in the world.

30

“When the right girl does eventually come along, there’s no doubting it. You just know. And your life will never be the same again.” You ever hear people say that kind of thing? It’s a romantic notion, but I’ve never quite believed it. Or maybe I choose not to believe it. Maybe some part of me would rather believe that I’m in control of my life, that my future is not at the mercy of green eyes and a golden smile.

31

Launched the Cheap Flight Checklist yesterday. Sales haven’t been fantastic, but they’ve been decent, and the feedback has been great so far, better than expected. People are saving big money with this thing. It could really blow up if I get the marketing right. Which is doable, so long as I can find the time. That’s always the hardest part.