These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
Monday, fast day, no grub, plenty of work. Kinda scattered at the mo. It’s a weird week with the course launched and waiting to see how many sign up. Had to get out and walk for a while this eve to clear the head, down old streets past uncurtained living rooms underneath a Rembrandt alongside a big patch of melting ice.
2
Hadn’t seen this girl for a couple of months, ever since she turned down an invitation back to my place. Now she says she’s here for me, acting all flirtatious, fishing for another invite. Which is kinda inconvenient because I’m on a date with someone else, and that someone else is sitting well within earshot of this whole conversation.
3
Starting to feel the stress of it. Haven’t been sleeping great, mind racing late into the night. Tried to take two naps today and barely drifted off despite the tiredness. Salsa this eve was good to get me out of the house and focused on something else. It’s all kind of thrilling at the same time. A regular job would bore me to tears.
4
Hitting the gym on 4.5 hours of sleep. I’ve been consistent with the workouts the past several months, and my body has never looked better. Words from Charlie Munger come to mind as I bust a hundred crunches: “Slug it out one inch at a time, day by day. At the end of the day – if you live long enough – most people get what they deserve.”
5
Writing this in the morning before checking the inbox. I’ve been warming people up all week with a series of emails about how to get started working online, and today comes the sales pitch for my course. 30 sales this weekend would be nice, but I think I’ll be at peace no matter what. I’ve given it my all and created something I’m proud of. It’s a beautiful morning.
6
Hmm. Sales are slow. Very slow. The gods of marketing say you need the right product, offered at the right price, sent to the right people, at the right time. I’m thinking the weakest link in my chain is the pricing. Will run a survey next week and get feedback from people who don’t buy, see if that’s it. In the meantime, I gots me a hot date.
7
Sales have picked up. Was aiming for 30 before tomorrow and currently at 19, might get a few more overnight. Also got 75 new people into the funnel today, mostly thanks to the legendary Ms. Leon posting about the course in a popular digital nomad group on Facebook. We’ll see how they convert two weeks down the line. Wheels keep on turning.
8.
So many ideas, so many opportunities. They key thing now is focus. Prioritizing. What actions will have the biggest impact? There’s no way I can do it all, so I have to be selective. After that call though it feels like I’m on the verge of something big. He was gushing about the course, absolutely loves it, sees the potential.
9
Sent out a blast this morning asking everyone who didn’t buy the course why so because, got a flood of responses. Great stuff in there. Looks like the pricing was the major issue, which is good news, can fix that easy. Spent several hours replying to those messages, even the ones from people who’ll never buy. Grateful for them all.
10
Less than five hours kip last night, work all day, no afternoon nap, two hours salsa this eve… should be wrecked but I feel great. Could be setting myself up for a crash, but right now, with how the course is going — more so as regards feedback than sales — I feel like I’m providing more value to the world than ever. That has me buzzing.
11
Skype today with my copywriter, who’s great at what he does and business savvy and just turned 21. Then drinks this eve with two guys new in town, both 22 and hustling to make their entrepreneurial dreams come true. They’ll all do well, ahead of the pack already just by thinking along these lines. My mind wasn’t on such matters until I was 27 or so.
12
Almost 2am. She’s asleep in my bed. I’m out here on the couch, checked a few emails before typing this. I haven’t talked to her yet about where we’re headed, expectations. Need to do that. From her messages this week I get the impression she wants to be my girlfriend, which means she’ll soon be disappointed.
13
Had the talk in bed this morning, went fine. Or so I thought until an hour later when we were mid-tryst and she asked me to promise, between moans, that I won’t date anyone else while I’m dating her. Let’s talk about it later, I said. No, she said, promise me now. And I knew right then what needed to be done, but I wasn’t sure if I had strength enough to do it.
14
Way behind on posting Momentos and finance reports. I’ve let a lot of things slide the past several weeks in favor of 3M1K. And I’m okay with that, reminding myself of a key lesson from Essentialism: it’s not possible to solve every problem that comes your way; you have to choose which problems to tackle, and which to live with.
15
Business lunch at StartDock. A dozen or so entrepreneurs in the room and we all got a couple of minutes to talk about what we’re doing and what we need help with. I may have been over-prepared, rehearsed my little pitch at least twenty times since yesterday, twice while juggling. But it was worth it. Met cool people and received good feedback.
16
Another one of those days dreams are made of. Nothing fancy, just head down and doing the work even though I didn’t feel like doing it. The course hasn’t taken off as fast as I’d hoped, but then few things worthwhile ever do. Overnight success tends to take a while when you’re looking out your own eyes.
17
Salsa class. We switch partners every few minutes so you get to dance with everyone. I prefer some to others. One girl likes to tell me I’m messing up but I’m pretty sure it’s her who’s getting it wrong since things flow fine with the rest. But I don’t know enough to correct her, so I keep my mouth shut. She obviously doesn’t share that philosophy.
18
When you realize that something you used to struggle with has become easy and enjoyable. Social settings like this eve used to scare the bejesus out of me. Okay so sometimes the anxiety still surfaces, but less and less as time goes by. All that practice has paid off. Putting myself out there, starting conversations, stumbling through the awkwardness.
19
I was 17 working late shifts at a hotel in my hometown. They had me lugging suitcases, collecting glasses, mopping puke off the dance floor. That summer was the first time it really dawned on me that everything comes and everything goes. Even the shittiest nights would run their course and I’d go home to fresh toast and a warm bed.
20
It’s raining, it’s Saturday and I’m running in the park. There’s a guy trying to keep his pearly kicks out of the mud and a dog that thinks this weather is the best thing ever. I don’t usually exercise on weekends but today I had the urge to get out and run. Feels like I’m running away from myself, trying to keep dark thoughts at bay.
21
Kinda caught in limbo with the course. It’s done well enough that it makes sense to keep investing in it, but not well enough to keep me afloat financially. I’ll need to get back to freelancing and postpone some other projects I had in mind. Trying to stay positive and see the challenge as an opportunity. Lots more learning ahead.
22
Yesterday was a rough one. Some of the sad was simple burnout after a long week, but a good chunk of it was me feeling sorry for myself, disappointed that things haven’t gone better this month. I think I’ll always have the occasional day like that though, no matter how good life gets. Important thing is to not to dwell on them. Everything comes, everything goes.
23
Found a parkour gym here in Amsterdam, went for a session this eve. Easily my favorite form of exercise. Trying to set myself up business-wise so I can do some immersion adventures in the not-too-distant future. One would definitely be parkour. Train at it consistently for several months, become a certified coach, break some crazy jumps.
24
Anxious in the hours leading up to salsa class tonight, probably because of that annoyance last week. Figured it would be more of the same. But nope, it wasn’t. Great class, finally felt like we were flowing, not so robotic. Reminded me how we suffer more due to worries and expectations than things that are actually happening.
25
A friend once told me that he’d never managed to bring his lady of five years to climax, and not for lack of trying. That memory comes to mind as I joke with this girl about how she might have broken the world record for multiple orgasms just now. I’d like to take all the credit, but fact is some women get there easier than others.
26
I tell everyone that I’m still in the honeymoon period here in Amsterdam. Nine months in and loving it relentless. But these love-struck days may be numbered. More bills came through the door this afternoon, and taxes must soon be paid. Someone once wrote that most folks visit works of art, while the people of Amsterdam live in one. Good art ain’t cheap.
27
There’s that gap between what you know you can create, and right now. I can envision the business I want to build, the business I am building, how it will help people and the packaging it’ll be wrapped in. I have no doubt it will be a success. But man, that gap. It looks mighty big and intimidating sometimes, like it does today, a long way from here to there.
28
Actually, looking at the sales numbers for 3M1K, it’s done alright this first month. 25 sales totaling €2,761.95. I opted to make VAT inclusive though, and 18 of those sales are from VAT countries, so that’s a big slice of the pie I can’t eat. Still, not bad going. 23 of those buyers are on monthly payments, too, so they’ll pay me again in March and April.
29
Invited to a wedding in New Orleans in June. Now I’m thinking, why not turn it into an epic adventure? Start on the east coast, rent a car or an RV, road trip it down south and back again. Two weeks maybe. Meet some internet friends, visit Rushmore, that kinda thing. But not alone. 4-5 people would be great. Interested? (I’m serious. Get in touch.)