These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
Apparently overweight people lose weight much easier when they can put aside feelings of shame and become more accepting of their situation. Gets me thinking about how I handle feeling tired or burned out. I resist it, feel ashamed of it. Which likely makes it worse.
2
Reading about that famous Little Hans case study and realizing just how mad some of Sigmund Freud’s theories were. That 5-year-old boy had a fear of horses and somehow Freud concluded that the kid fantasized about having a big penis and wanted to marry his mother.
3
Met up with a few entrepreneurial folks for lunch. I ate a chicken salad and drank two coffees. We talked about bidets, artificial intelligence, driving off-road, visiting Iran, table manners, cold calling, basketball, movies, ID cards, famous countrymen, animal sounds in different languages.
4
Published my previous video a month ago, hasn’t cracked 1100 views yet. Published my latest video eight hours ago, cracked 600 views already. The new video is very similar to the one I published in August that got 38K views. I guess the lesson is to keep doing what works.
5
A year: just the right amount of time to be surprised when some part of it comes around again. Feeling that lately with the evenings getting shorter, now dark outside at dinnertime. I’m glad I live in a place with distinct seasons. Feels like a richer experience.
6
He’s saying that goals are best deployed in service to your values. Otherwise, chasing one goal after another = persistent dissatisfaction with the way things are. Focusing on a particular value makes more sense. That’s a direction, not a destination. You never expect to arrive, so it’s easier to enjoy the journey.
7
Took the old, off-road smuggler’s route across the imaginary line and through a spectacular valley to reach a tiny town famous for murder and contraband. Randomly met motorbiking friends on the way back. Just after sunset, saw a full moon rise over pink mountains.
8
Interesting exercise in ACT: choose something you’ve been struggling with for a while and write down all your coping strategies. Then go through and list out the short- and long-term benefits of each strategy. Makes it pretty obvious what’s effective and what’s not.
9
First day cold calling. Dialled 17 numbers, talked to 10 people, made 5 pitches, generated 2-3 promising leads. No deals closed yet but feeling good. Overcame resistance, endured rejection, had a few good chats, helped out a guy who will never become a client just because it felt right.
10
So that video was doing really well on YouTube, then they removed it. As usual with a big company, their explanation is extremely vague. Hey, you did something wrong, we’re not going to tell you exactly what it is, but don’t let it happen again. Such a mind fuck.
11
Cholesterol, leg, gastroenteritis, salmonella, aspergers, spine, estrogen, neck, knee, elephantitis, syndrome, egg, gallbladder, rheumatoid, dental, lymphoma, anti-inflammatory, y-chromosome, ear, retina, asthma, alopecia, arm, mammogram, mouth, heart, tuberculosis…
12
Watched The Holdovers recently. Excellent, sincere movie. I knew it would be, and yet I put off watching it for months. Still trying to figure out why. Probably because a movie like that demands more from me, in terms of attention and consideration. It’s a gourmet meal, not fast food.
13
Noticing how I can romanticize the past, especially when I’m having a bad day. Easy to think that life was better or easier before. But when I really stop to think about it, or read my old diary entries, I realize bad days happened back then too. My memory just does a good job editing them out.
14
Listen to a popular song and try to identify all the different instruments. Really hard if, like me, you’ve rarely played music. Tried it with Don’t Look Back in Anger. Looked up the instruments with ChatGPT after, amazed at how much is going on with that song that I’ve always taken for granted.
15
30+ cold calls today. Sales are hard to come by but I’m feeling good about my conversation skills, finding it easy enough to get a foot in the door and keep the conversation going, even though I’m very upfront that I’m trying to sell something. Making them laugh always helps.
16
My new favorite fable: Tigers Above, Tigers Below, as told by Pema Chödrön…
There is a story of a woman running away from tigers. She runs and runs, and the tigers are getting closer and closer. When she comes to the edge of a cliff, she sees some vines there, so she climbs down and holds on to the vines. Looking down, she sees that there are tigers below her as well. She then notices that a mouse is gnawing away at the vine to which she is clinging. She also sees a beautiful little bunch of strawberries close to her, growing out of a clump of grass. She looks up and she looks down. She looks at the mouse. Then she just takes a strawberry, puts it in her mouth, and enjoys it thoroughly.
17
Probably the most practical thing I’ve learned from ACT so far: thank your mind when it’s running wild. Now when I wake up in the middle of the night, mind racing, I thank it for being active, trying to solve problems and think things through. Then I tell it gently that we best get back to sleep so we can be fresh for the morning. Works better than you’d expect.
18
Feeling burned out today, trying to accept it and be kind to myself. Did a little work, then up the mountains in the afternoon, to a little hidden church in the woods, then along a valley named after old shepherd huts. Not that cold but wrapped up warm anyway.
19
Another ACT mantra…
You hurt where you care, and you care where you hurt.
In which case I must care deeply about people maintaining a healthy weight. Really bugs me seeing old friends who have become obese. So much crappy food out there, so easy to get fat and think it’s no big deal.
20
Tired today, don’t want to do anything, but force myself to make at least five cold calls. Then another five. Then one more. Diminishing returns at that point so I leave it. But I’m still pleasantly surprised at how many people give me their time and attention on the phone when I’m clearly trying to sell something.
21
Trying to let go of this idea of feeling behind, like I need to catch up. Because it’s silly when you think about it: catch up to what? Some idealized version of myself that never gets tired, never procrastinates, never makes mistakes? That guy doesn’t exist and never will. Gotta stop comparing myself to him.
22
This feeling of having too much to do. I try to flip it and think about how dull and boring my life would be if I had nothing to do. Well, it would be great for the first few days. But I’d likely tire of it quick, would soon be craving a packed schedule again.
23
Learned it as a kid, and the rhyme still comes immediately to mind whenever I see a magpie…
One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret never to be told.
24
Been building this same business I’ve seen work well for others, but off to a slow start. Thinking now it’s because I’ve been changing too much, putting my own spin on it, trying to be somewhat original and clever when actually I should dumb down and copy exactly what works.
25
Said to myself when my last business collapsed that eventually I’d look back and be grateful. I already am in some ways. I’m more careful with and appreciative of money now, taking it far less for granted. And all the turmoil has led me to ACT, and forced me to improve my sales skills.
26
I’ve watched 188 movies so far this year, gotta be a new high. Almost embarrassed by that number, since it’s a lot of screen time. But I’m mainly watching during meal times, replacing the random YouTube videos I used to consume. Plus, I’ve loved movies since I was a little kid. They bring me joy.
27
An analogy for dealing with stress: think of yourself as a sink. Stress is the water pouring in from the faucet, can fill you up and overwhelm you. One way to respond: turn off the tap. But if that’s not possible, the next best thing is to pull the plug and let the water flow through.
29
There’s a story about the British novelist, William Makepeace Thackeray. He would visit London bookshops in the mid-1800s, get chatting with customers and ask them casually, “Have you read the new book by Thackeray? It’s quite good.” Sneaky fecker, but I respect the hustle.
29
You hear of successful entrepreneurs having a crisis of meaning, feeling lost when the game becomes too easy. I can’t imagine ever having that problem. So many projects I’d love to pursue if money was no longer a factor. Family, community, fitness, languages, music, building a dream home, etc, etc.
30
Building a business is mainly a matter of scratching and clawing and fighting and persisting and trying everything you can to gain some ground. The wins are few and far between in the beginning, but eventually they start coming in a little more frequently, enough to keep you going.
31
Considering becoming religious just so I can pray for Wembanyama to have a long and healthy career. Been a basketball fan most of my life and he has the most potential of any player I’ve seen. Body, skill, mobility, mentality… total package. If he stays healthy he could well be the best ever.