These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
Growing up in Ireland it was rare enough to see lightening, maybe a few flashes a year. Here in Tbilisi we get prolonged lightening storms a few times a year, flashes every few seconds and the show can last for an hour or more. Like it did last night.
2
A few minutes to spare so I take a walk through the market. Three generations of women selling masks, strawberries, spray bottles, cherries. An older man with three bootleg Nikes on a cardboard box. Dogs with ear tags sleeping under parked vans.
3
Reading about Emil Zátopek. Czech runner, won 3 gold medals at the 1952 Olympics: 5,000 meters, 10,000 meters, and the marathon. He entered the marathon last minute, had never run one before, broke the world record. Then the communists broke him.
4
It’s funny how we’re so impatient for everything, crave instant gratification, yet at the same time we all know that we value and appreciate things more when we have to wait or work to get them. Get what you want when you want and you’re less wont to want it.
5
Ran past here this morning. There was a black cat laying in the driveway, looking at me with disinterest. Eight hours later, same spot, same cat, same look. I bet he never moved, never even had the desire to. Perfectly content doing nothing. I envy that cat.
6
Drowsy on a Sunday morning, pull a chair to the window and sit in sunlight with coffee, put on an old song. I’ve heard the lyrics before, but never really listened, not like this. Heroes for ghosts, ashes for trees. Later I’ll google it and learn about Syd.
7
We’ve only known this city during the pandemic. Many of the people we’ve met here, we only know what the top half of their face looks like. Somehow when you do see them without the mask it’s always different than you imagined it would be.
8
Trying to be more filter-happy with Gmail. When someone emails me several times in one day with inane questions… filter so I never hear from them again. When someone keeps threatening me with “consequences” if I don’t remove certain content… same same.
9
I go about making breakfast the way I usually do, putting nuts and seeds in hot water to soak, measuring out the usual amount of porridge and setting it to cook. Only after I’ve done all that do I remember my plan to eat out for breakfast this morning. Habits are a powerful thing.
10
Even though I know it takes time to see results, even though I preach patience, I still get frustrated when the wins don’t come quick. We’ve really only just started collecting user reviews, and somehow I expect us to have cracked the code already.
11
Talking with a friend who started working online about ten years ago, similar to me. Both our businesses have taken off the past year. We can attribute so much of that to just staying in the game, avoiding disaster and self-sabotage long enough for things to come together.
12
On days like this, when the Resistance is strong, I try to remind myself that I’ll feel better if I can push through and get the work done. Whereas if I give in and do nothing, I’ll just end up feeling more miserable. I’m not sure if this is a healthy thing to tell myself.
13
All families, all relationships really, have unspoken rules. Topics you don’t bring up, questions you don’t ask. Often you’re not even aware of these rules until you see they don’t exist in other families, other relationships. What unspoken rules exist in your world?
14
I’m an affiliate for a course that costs $5000. They pay out $2000 per referral. I know one affiliate has made millions promoting them. Now I’m collecting and displaying student reviews, many of them negative. That’ll likely get me kicked out of the affiliate program. But that’s okay.
15
One of the main things I remember from Long Walk is how Mandela used to exercise most mornings, even when confined to a tiny cell. He’d get his cardio in by running on the spot for 45 minutes, then do calisthenics. Despite his life of hardship, he lived 95 years.
16
Traffic is trending down a little, as is revenue. Have to remind myself constantly that that’s okay, even to be expected. With this new crowd-sourcing approach for reviews, it’s like we’re taking a step backwards for a while. Though hopefully it’s more like a pull back on a slingshot.
17
Went on a big rant about Stefan James today on Twitter. That guy earns millions over-hyping a $5000 FBA course that he’s an affiliate for. I wonder if he knows he’s misleading people or if he’s talked himself into believing his own spiel.
18
I’m the only customer, sitting in the corner with my sugary big boy drink, reading this bio and following the threads. Joe Tex, almost died in a swimming pool a few days before he really died, once pissed off James Brown so bad that he went and got a gun.
19
I was 17 working shitty late shifts at a hotel in my hometown. I’d tell myself that everything comes and everything goes, just wait a while and things will change. I’m 39 now and I still tell myself that. Whether you feel good or bad, just wait a while and things will change.
20
A decade deep into working for myself, it can be hard to relate to regular folks working regular jobs. Hung out with some such people today. There are definitely some advantages to regular employment, but even if I’d earn more money I couldn’t imagine going back to it.
21
During these weekly talks with a man far away, I like to walk around a cemetery nearby. It’s built haphazard on a hillside, grave plots scattered everywhere, barely room between. It’s quiet and shaded and home to the only squirrel I’ve seen in this country.
22
My best days are days like today. Busy but not rushed. Some work but not too much. Connecting with new friends, reconnecting with old. Quality time with my lady, a few errands run, out and about, plenty of exercise. Time to nap and read a book.
23
Made a small change to the website at the start of May, didn’t think it was a big deal. This week I figured out that it was killing conversions, way less people clicking on affiliate links. Probably cost me at least $5000. Just when I thought I knew what I was doing…
24
I like going back to places I once knew well, a place I lived or used to visit frequently. It’s nice to see what’s changed, to reminisce. Lately I’ve been thinking about where I am now, how I might someday revisit here and recall these present days I’m living through.
25
Saw today that another guy doing a user-generated review site has quit, said it’s too hard. He’s right, it is hard. But I’m trying to look at that as a good thing. If we can just keep going and push through the hard stuff, we’ll be left all alone to reap the rewards. (I hope.)
26
Probably two years since I was last in a coworking space. Came to this one today because I was feeling lazy, would have done nothing at home. We’re still plugging away gathering reviews of these courses. Long is the way and hard… but that’s okay.
27
I once had a goal of becoming fluent in several languages before the age of 40. I’m still only fluent in one, and I have about nine months left. Not gonna make it, and I’m fine with that. The guy who made that goal was so young, so ambitious, so naive. I still like him.
28
Sitting on a low wall and a woman walks towards me with a bag of carrots. She smiles and excuses herself, then throws the bag over the wall and leaves. I look where she threw. There’s a drop down to a collapsed rooftop, litter piled everywhere.
29
At the dentist, jaw throbbing, waiting for the main man to come back. His assistant gets all chatty and starts showing me videos of various forms of Georgian dance on her phone. It’s interesting for the first minute. Not so much for the next ten. Maybe I should say something.
30
Marriage opens the door to one set of experiences, closes the door to another. Same for staying single. When you think about it, everything has an opportunity cost. Get a job or start a business. Have kids or don’t. Travel or stay put. Watch a movie, read a book.