These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
Thirty-six years old from Ireland, been all around the world, and somehow this is my first time in Scotland. We’re way up in the highlands already, stopped by a lake. There’s a cottage across a wooden bridge, a massive green mountain rising beyond, a waterfall bursting from the seam.
2
Exploration will have to wait. Staying put at our Airbnb today to get some work done. I’m keeping up with client work, just about, but have fallen behind quite a bit with my own stuff. I’ve got two installments of Momentos to publish and a finance report to put together. And I’d like to make some adjustments to my email series. But I won’t get to any of that today. Internet ain’t great in these parts.
3
Today was a bit of work in the morning, then off exploring the Highlands all afternoon and evening, perfect weather, picnic by a lazy river, hike to a waterfall, little shitty biting flies that remind you that nothing is ever as good as it looks on Instagram, into a village pub later to watch England win on penalties and all the buzz. A perfect day, in a wabi sabi kind of way.
4
We’re in a hidden, hanging valley a few miles outside Glencoe, hiked up through a gorge to reach it. More than three hundred years ago this spectacular space was used by the McDonald clan to graze stolen cattle. The same clan met their end in a famous massacre in 1692, a few dozen people wiped out by government forces for not swearing allegiance to the king.
5
Stopped in a little cafe on our way to Edinburgh, coffee on the table and birds in the window. Writing out the script for another video. This one about Starbucks and hip surgeries and Navy SEALS. I love the whole video-making process. Pulling together these ideas, writing them out, organizing and doing the shoot, then editing it all together. Gotta make this my main thing.
6
Spent several hours out and about in Edinburgh today but not loving it all that much. Probably more to do with me than the city though. Almost two weeks on the road now, which has meant very little routine, diet all over the place, discipline fading. Gotta get back on track. Deleted a stupid game off my phone that was sucking up time and will do a morning routine first thing tomorrow.
7
Restaurant upstairs gave us two drink vouchers for the pub since it’s her birthday. But neither of us drink. We approach two guys and a girl at the bar and offer them the vouchers. They’re brilliant, local, super-friendly. We stay and laugh with them for a few minutes. Then: “Hey, we’re going to a really fun gay bar down the road. Do yez want to join us?”
8
Spending a lot on Uber recently. €56 this weekend alone. Feels wasteful to my lizard brain, but logically I know it’s not. Those trips probably saved us at least two hours and lots of energy yesterday and today. That’s time and energy better spent actually enjoying our travels rather than getting from A to B as cheaply as possible.
9
Wandering around the British Museum, choosing to ignore how all this stuff got here and how they refuse to give it back. Instead, I pop some classical in the ears and joyride a couple hours through time and space. Egyptian mummies, Aztec artifacts, head of Augustus, statue of Tara, whale-tooth chessmen, bronze and bones and Delibes in my headphones.
10
Yesterday was Monday and I did the museum thing. Today is Tuesday and I’m at Wimbledon, scored a couple of complimentary grounds passes from a reader (thanks, Michal!). We’re catching a few matches and doing the strawberries and cream thing on the hill. Being able to do this kind of stuff during the week, without having to ask anyone’s permission, is what I love most about working for myself.
11
Sometimes you forget. You’re sitting there in a nice restaurant in an old castle down by the water, with your best friend and his little man and the woman of your dreams. You have good food in your belly. You’re living a privileged life. And sometimes you just forget to appreciate it all, and you need to stop and take a moment to be there and feel lucky and be thankful.
12
There’s a lot to like about Ireland. One of the main things is what you see here at the Coachford GAA club on a Thursday evening after a 5-mile run. It’s the community, the connection. People and families coming together around a healthy activity, with big pots of tea and triangley sangwiches and the odd chockey bikkie. There’s a genuine warmth to it. Makes a man think about coming back home to start a family.
13
I’m lucky to have grown up where I did, in the Irish countryside. Plenty of freedom to roam. I’d head off up the hill with the dog, through fields and forests, climbing and exploring. Could be gone for four or five hours, no worries. Many times in those days I felt, in the words of Patrick Kavanagh, that I was king, of banks and stones and every blooming thing. It was a good childhood.
14
Few people back home here can comprehend how I afford to travel so much. A distant neighbor is a successful entrepreneur, probably a multi-millionaire. Even he’s been asking how my lifestyle is possible. It’s like anything though: once you’re doing it, it seems quite normal, not all that strange or exotic. The hardest part really is letting go of what you’re used to. What got you here won’t get you there.
15
I’ve shot seven videos the past few weeks. We’ll be in Amsterdam on Tuesday, there for a month. I’ll be editing my ass off, and trying to get a few more videos scripted and shot. Reading and researching in preparation. I’m excited about this work. It’s the kind of thing I’d be doing even if I had all the money in the world.
16
We’re doing laps of a field in a beat up Nissan Micra. The passenger side window is missing and there’s steam coming from the engine and the smell of something burning. This is how we learn to drive in my family. My lady’s picking it up quick. And before too long we have an audience. Sounds of engines and laughs and chat as the evening winds down.
17
24 hours on and we’re at the other end of the automobile spectrum, cruising perfectly paved roads from Schiphol airport in a Tesla Model S. There’s no handbrake or gear stick between the seats, no jerky acceleration or hot steam or strange sounds. Just a smooth futuristic ride through this historic city that I love.
18
Wasn’t sure last night, after a frustrating travel day and the expenses mounting, wasn’t sure it was worth it to spend a few weeks in this town. But this evening we got some bargain bikes sorted and spent a couple of hours cycling along the canals, over the bridges, under the Rijks, through the Vondel. Absolute bliss. Glad to be here.
19
Realized yesterday that I’m pretty good at suffering inconvenience. Might be an Irish thing. If the Airbnb or the bicycle or the service isn’t perfect, often I’d rather suffer the inconvenience than speak up and ask that it be made right. Sometimes this serves me well. Sometimes it doesn’t. Trying to get better at spotting the difference.
20
First time. I flow between hyper states of awareness, presence, and getting lost deep in thought. There’s a slowness to the world. And a softness. I can feel the wind in my ears as we float around the park. Dream-like. Easy laughter. Realizations and understanding. Senses heightened, memory dulled. My favorite city, my favorite lady, the perfect time.
21
Probably the biggest thing I got from that experience last night was respect. It’s a light drug, but I can see how people get caught up in it. Such an easy escape. I could do more today but respect holds me back. Similar that way to video games and alcohol. I liked them too much back in the day, had to be all or nothing. I’m older now though. And stronger. I hope.
22
Finally got word that the hard drive I dropped in Montenegro isn’t salvageable. A few weeks of photo and video, lost. No big deal. Except for that one finished video I had on there that took me 12+ hours to edit. Still have the raw material, but the thought of editing it from scratch again is nauseating. Oh well. Let’s do it even better this time.
23
Packed day. Spent 5+ hours editing a (different) video, squeezed in a quick trip to the park for a HIIT session with herself, cycled all the way to the library and back, got groceries, and managed to fit in 90 minutes of client work as well. Been here a week already and starting to feel like I never left.
24
Sitting on the Rokin, double-dating with friends we’ve never met. Good people. The Amstel river used to run down this street, to that first dam that gave the city its name. Across from us is where a miracle supposedly happened, some 673 years ago. That’s why people first came here from far and wide. It was a pilgrim town. In a way, I guess it still is.
25
Sorry for going on about Amsterdam. But it continues to impress. Stumbled into a Volkstuinen this evening, a community garden. A few hundred little plots of green right in the city, many with summer homes. Apple trees, hammocks, emerald ponds, baby ducks… like a fairytale. Came home and googled how I can get me one of those.
26
There once was a town where fire was forbidden. Fire was too dangerous, the authorities said. People couldn’t be trusted to use it responsibly. They risked hurting themselves or their loved ones, even the entire town. So fire was illegal there. If you were caught with so much as a lit candle, you were arrested, treated as a criminal. Silly old town in a silly old world.
27
The longest total lunar eclipse of the century. The blood phase was a little hazy but now we’re in a park having a smoke and watching the crisp shadow of our planet creep across that bright ball in the sky, Mars sparkling below. Tomorrow I’ll feel sluggish and wish I’d gotten to bed earlier, but right now I’m lost deep in appreciation for a sight I may never see again.
28
Met up with a student today, Justin from the US. He started working online a couple of years ago, built skills from scratch. He’s been traveling the world since last September, living that laptop lifestyle. Mexico, Colombia, Thailand, Cambodia, India, Europe. Off to Brazil next. He never finished college and he’s only 23 years old.
29
Putting together a calendar for my videos. I want to be pushing out one per week consistently. That might not be enough though, given all the ideas I have. Two per week would be more like it. But I’d need to quit the freelancing altogether to make that possible. And I’m not where I need to be financially to do that. Not yet.
30
Burnt out Monday. Managed to squeeze out an hour of client work but beyond that it’s me horizontal reading a novel for the day. That’s the upside and downside of working for yourself right there. I felt zapped and was able to chill out for the day, no worries. But if I was at a regular job I could probably have arsed around at my desk for 8 hours and gotten paid for it.
31
Two weeks we’ve been here now. Haven’t been very social. Loads of people I’ve been meaning to catch up with, but somehow I keep prioritizing work. I’ve got lots of work to do, but it’s probably the solitude more than anything that keeps me in front of the computer. I like long stretches of time where it’s just me and the machine, my own little world.
