These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
People who get upset over small things, who take the tiniest perceived slight as a cataclysmic event, who hyper-analyze every word and sentence… man, I can’t help but think that these people must not have a lot going on in their lives. Circle of influence, circle of concern. The things that concern them says a lot about the size of that first circle.
2
At The Roof, out on the terrace with a full moon above me. The place is quiet, everyone’s gone to tapas night. I just got back from running my weekly webinar. Chatting with my lady now on the phone, making plans for next year. Bulgaria, Moscow, Gran Canaria, Romania, Ireland, UK, Amsterdam… that’s what we have in mind so far, dancing in and out of the Schengen.
3
Playing ultimate frisbee for the first time. It’s a fun game, similar to basketball in many respects – five-on-five, pass and cut, keep your pivot foot – but more sprinting long distances. Takes it out of you. But even when you’re doubled-over exhausted and the other team has scored six straight times, you remember you’re on a beach in November and it’s warm after dark and life is pretty damn good.
4
There’s something called the focusing illusion, which Daniel Kahneman described brilliantly when he wrote that “nothing in life is as important as you think it is, while you are thinking about it.” In other words, whatever it is you’re worried about right now, whatever you think is a big deal, is actually less significant than you think it is. Including this very concept.
5
Life is good at the moment. But I want even better. Right now I enjoy my work, but I still have to constantly consider how to make a living from it. Would be nice to pick projects based solely on interest. whatever tickles my fancy. For example, I’d love to spend a week researching astrology – which I suspect is complete bullshit, but I’ve never looked into it much – and then write an article about it.
6
Work today involved filming myself resting in a hammock, lounging on the couch, and parkour-rolling into the camera. Fun times. It was all for a Facebook ad campaign I’m putting together. Scripted, shot and edited a 2.5-minute video for that today. Took a while. Now it’s after eleven and I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Feeling like a champ.
7
Right about now is the safest time ever to be alive. As in, you’re highly unlikely to be killed by another human these days. You’re actually more likely to kill yourself, or to die from diabetes. In other words, your own mind and that can of soda are more a threat to your survival than any war, terrorist, or random psychopath. But you wouldn’t know it from reading headlines.
8
I’m saying it’s fine to do things free for clients, but they should know you’re doing those things. Don’t keep quiet and hope they notice. Same applies to relationships. If you do something nice that goes unnoticed, make it known. And don’t keep doing things that aren’t appreciated. Otherwise you end up resentful. She’s surprised I know this.
9
Thursdays take it out of me, doing that webinar in the evening. Requires a lot of energy. Worth it when you see a few sales after, but that didn’t happen tonight, so I walk home in the dark trying not to feel too dejected, thinking how I can do better next time. It’s tough when you put a lot of time and effort and heart into something and see little reward.
10
“What do you do when you feel sad?” Well I try to keep in mind is that sadness is temporary. It comes and goes. And it’s okay to sit with it for a while. And listen, relatively speaking, my sad days are fantastic. Most people in the world would love to have my sad days. Today was a sad day for me, but I still got to swim in the ocean, take a long nap, be self-directed in my work, and read thank you notes from strangers.
11
Louis CK is the latest male celebrity to be accused of sexual misconduct, and he’s even admitted the allegations are true. So I’m disappointed that one of my comedy heroes is actually a dirtbag, but glad to see all these stories about powerful men abusing women coming to light. It’s taken way longer than it should have, but clearly a shift is happening. We’re starting to listen.
12
Been too anti-social recently, too much of a recluse, retreating to Netflix for downtime. Haven’t been sleeping great, and then I feel tired, and then I don’t have the energy to be social. Bet if I make the effort to be social, that will help me unwind, and then I’ll sleep better. Journaling helped me figure this out. Haven’t been doing that enough lately either.
13
From The Art of Fully Living: “The moment you decide that pursuing a dream is more important than the dream itself, you will be willing to step out of your comfort zone and take more risks. This one small shift in perspective has the power to set you free from your fear of failure, your self-made shackles.”
14
There’s an analogy about how building a business, or doing any big project, is like priming one of those old-fashioned water pumps. You put in a lot of time and effort in the beginning, and it seems like nothing is happening. That’s when most people quit. But if you keep going, eventually the water starts flowing, and you don’t need to pump so much to keep it that way.
15
I know from experience, that whenever I’m stuck trying to figure out what to write about, the solution isn’t to sit there starting at a blank screen until inspiration strikes. No, you have to actually write. Write gibberish if you have to until something good comes. Had to spit out ten minutes of gibberish today until I found what I was looking for.
16
Did my weekly webinar again this eve. Was disappointed last week, when I had 30+ people on and didn’t make a single sales. This week I had less than 20 people and made two. Small sample size so can’t read too much into it. But one change I did make was to stick to the script and not go off on mad tangents. Maybe that helped.
17
130 strokes this morning without stopping, a new personal best. Came out of the water thinking that I might be able to swim the length of the beach before the weekend is out. Had to catch myself there though, step off the hedonic treadmill for a minute. There I was thinking about the next goal without pausing to appreciate how far I’d come.
18
Guacamole party. (Yes, that’s a thing.) About twenty people showed up. There are times in get-togethers like this when find yourself alone in the crowd, maybe the person you’re talking to excuses themselves for a moment, and you get the urge to check your phone or otherwise distract yourself, instead of just staying where you are and enjoying the space in between.
19
Getting everything packed up, will be gone for four weeks. Decided to leave the big bag here in GC and just take carry-on, see how that goes. I’m not quite the minimalist I once was, but I still lean that way. There’s great freedom in being able to pack everything you own in twenty minutes and head off into the unknown.
20
They have a siesta room at the Sala VIP lounge at Barcelona airport. I wake up from a nap, go grab some free food and coffee – yeah, I’m bragging – then boot up the laptop to see that I’m on the front page of the Irish Times website (still bragging). Amazing what writing your own press release will get ya.
21
Five things I didn’t know about Monaco before we went there today:
- It’s the second smallest sovereign state in the world, after the Vatican.
- With 38,400 people living in 2 square kilometers, it’s the second-most densely populated sovereign state in the world (after Macau).
- About a third of the population are millionaires.
- Residents pay no income tax.
- Citizens are not allowed to gamble at the famous Monte Carlo Casino.
22
We’re down by the market in Nice, doing the French thing good and proper: coffee and croissants in the Mediterranean sunshine, as we watch the vendors selling fruit and veggies and flowers. Later we’ll head to the fanciest hotel in town, where they charge €8 for a common cappuccino, and sneak a dance in the royal lounge when nobody’s looking.
23
Been tough keeping up with emails while on the move this week. My 7 Years video has blown up like mad, approaching half a million views now. Easily the most popular thing I’ve ever put out in the world. Off the back of that I’ve been on invited on TV in Ireland twice, wrote that piece for the Times, and was asked to speak at a conference in Australia.
24
There’s a copy of The Road here in our Airbnb in Marseille. It’s a book I’ve put off reading for a long time, knowing how dark it is. But now I’m pulled in, been devouring chunks of it between walks around the old port and electric bike rides down the coast. It is indeed a dark read, but they say exposure to the dark helps us appreciate the light. I was grateful for a simple meal this eve.
25
The response to that video has been overwhelmingly positive. But of course there are some critics and begrudgers in there. I’ve also seen many comments along the lines of, “Wish I could do that!” Well… you can. I’m privileged, sure, but you probably are too if you’re reading this. Stop thinking of all the reasons why you can’t. Start thinking of all the reasons why you can.
26
The madness of Marrakesh. All those winding little streets crammed with food and knickknacks and humans. You come out into el-Fna to find fruit stalls and acrobats and snake charmers. I try not pay any attention to the latter. Ever since my owl awakening in Nara I’ve been wary of anyone trying to make a quick buck off a wild animal.
27
El-Fna is an even greater spectacle at night, like something from an Indiana Jones movie. Drum beats and chanting from all angles. The smell of street food. A little boy on a tiny stool selling cookies. An old man in a wheelchair with his legs all twisted. Lights in the sky. A monkey on a shoulder. Orange juice and carved wood and me there in the middle of it all.
28
Six little dishes. A friend for the road. Bus heading west. Dusty outskirts. Dry riverbeds. Desert landscape. A shepherd with his crook. Goats climbing trees. Men in cloaks. Moroccan salad. Dirt roads. Crappy apartment. Beautiful beach. Cats and dogs. Email to thousands. Dinner for two. Green tea. A halo around the moon.
29
People making good money online drop shipping cat furniture and fake light sabers. Nobody has a problem with that. I pass up lucrative freelance work and make less money helping people build online businesses so they can live their dreams. I get called a scammer. Reminds me of something Dan Pallotta said in a TED Talk:
We have a visceral reaction to the idea that anyone would make very much money helping other people. Interestingly, we don’t have a visceral reaction to the notion that people would make a lot of money NOT helping other people. You want to make 50 million dollars selling violent video games to kids, go for it. We’ll put you on the cover of Wired magazine. But you want to make half a million dollars trying to cure kids of malaria, and you’re considered a parasite yourself.
30
Sitting having dinner in a little French restaurant. It’s after ten. Just did another webinar. Veggie lasagne’s a bit burnt but still tastes glorious. It rained for a few hours this morning. Local guy told me it was their first rain for a year. The dug up dusty streets have turned to mud. A voice from the miranet has been preaching for 45 minutes now. Perhaps he’s talking about the rain.
