These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
Traffic flows around us as we cross the street and head into the market, streams of scooters giving way to the smell of a million spices. Out back we find tubs of live crab and eel alongside a young man chopping toads with a meat cleaver. A short time later we’re back on the streets and pass the entrance to a crumbling temple. Tam asks if I’m religious. I tell her no and ask likewise. “A little bit,” she replies. “I go to temple and pray sometimes.”
2
Nanning, China’s green city, apparently. I’d never heard of the place until a few weeks ago. Today I find out more people live here than in my home country. I book into a hostel even though I’m not staying the night, get cleaned up and use their wifi. Later I take a walk down by the river before heading back to the train station. I leave after midnight, a seated sleep ahead of me, the only gweilo aboard.
3
Getting from the train station in Shanzhen to my hostel on Hong Kong Island is a mission. Ticket machines, currency exchange, language barriers, immigration checkpoints, and six different metro lines. But I love the challenge. The fact that I’m running on four hours of cramped sleep and no breakfast or lunch makes it even better, a tougher nut to crack. Just figuring out how to get there might be my favorite part of travel.
4
I don’t want to think about money. That’s the main reason I’d like to have a lot of it. Looking for a place to stay these next several weeks in Hong Kong and I find myself scraping the bottom of the barrel. My budget doesn’t afford me much. And it’s fine because I don’t need anything fancy, but it would be nice not to worry about price, to just find something clean and well located and be able to afford it easily. That’s the wealth I’m aiming for.
5
The problem with martial arts is obvious to me now. None really prepare you for a real fight. Because they all have rules. You’re not allowed poke someone in the eye or knee them in the balls, for instance. But in a street fight, there are no rules. It might even be two or three on one, and they might have knives. All your Muay Thai training won’t help much in such a situation. And Krav Maga isn’t perfect either. Impossible to simulate the real deal.
6
I’ll try save big on food while I’m here in Hong Kong. I’ve been testing out the eateries in my neighborhood and comparing prices at the markets and grocery stores. I want to get a routine down so I won’t have to think about it. So far I’ve limited myself to restaurants displaying English menus, but I’m guessing I’ll find the best meals and deals at the Chinese places. I’ve been passing up trying them, afraid of… what, exactly?
7
I have no interest in women right now. My sex drive might be at an all-time low. Part of it is that I keep comparing every other girl to her, and they don’t come out of that comparison looking too good. Aside from that, I’m determined to stay focused on work, no distractions. Some guys can juggle romance and business quite well, but not me. I just had a few great months of one, now I’m immersing myself in the other.
8
My first time eating sardines. I don’t much like the taste, but that’s okay. I’ll keep eating them anyway. Most people put taste above nutrition. I try not to do that. Ideally you’ll have both but I’m trying to cut costs here, so sometimes I have to choose. I could eat tasty McDonalds every day and save a ton, but instead I’ll choose smelly dinners of canned sardines, broccoli and kidney beans.
9
It was that first guy this morning, the old man I passed on the hike up to the peak. He smiled and wished me good morning. And I thought, Oh! Strangers say hello to each other here! And that was all I needed. Following his example, I offered up a few dozen greetings of my own, most of which were returned. This evening I helped an old lady push a cart up a hill. But really, it was the old man who helped her, several hours earlier, with kind words for a stranger.
10
It’s a little after 6 a.m. as I rest my bones at King George Park, eyes closed, heartbeats dropping, focused on the breath. I hear a shuffling come from my left and settle in front. A minute later, alarm beeps, eyes open. There’s an elderly gent leaning against another bench a few feet away, dressed in sweats, swinging one leg at a time. We exchange smiles and pleasantries, and I feel how most tourists never will. Like I’m a part of this city, not just passing through.
11
Business idea sitting at the back of my brain for a few weeks. Today I pull the trigger. Minimum viable product. Or offer in this case. I google around and collect appropriate email addresses, fifty-one of them, then write a quick pitch and send it out to the list. If at least three people respond and take me up on the offer, I’ll try push it further. Otherwise, drop it and move on to something else.
12
I’m standing in line at the supermarket when a young Asian dude approaches me: “Are you Niall?” Turns out he follows my blog and has read my book, a revelation brought to me by the letters W, T and F. We chat it up for a bit. Sam is from Hong Kong, works in banking, wants to go the self-employment route and travel the world. Before parting ways I tell him to drop me an email and we’ll meet for coffee.
13
I’ve disappointed her, I know it. Even though I did my best to be honest and upfront about wanting to continue traveling and doing my own thing, it’s not really fair to give myself to someone so completely before ripping it all away. Makes her wonder if I ever really cared. Makes me wonder, too, sometimes. And it’s happened before, you know. Until I’m ready to make a relationship the primary thing in my life, it’s likely to keep happening.
14
I get her in a headlock and start to squeeze. Suddenly she steps sideways and explodes into a twist, burying her face in my side and firing a left hand up towards my groin. Before I can tell if the grapes have been busted, I feel her right hand shoving at my face, forcing my head back until my body’s bent in an awkward arc. A split second is all it takes, and I’m done for. This lady, twenty years my senior, she could end it right now with a palm to the nose.
15
One of the underrated things about taking siestas is that you improve your ability to fall asleep fast. I first noticed this two years back when I experimented for a few weeks with polyphasic. This afternoon I was awoken on several occasions by someone drilling downstairs, but was able to get back to sleep within minutes each time. I like this. Helps combat the monkey mind running wild when I’m knee deep in the business lark.
16
Born in Brazil to Korean parents, educated in the US, moved to Paris on a whim, then got all entrepreneurial in Asia. She does three hours of Muay Thai a day and reached out after reading my book. Now we’re sitting having dinner in Hong Kong, talking about relationships and physics and metaphorical buses as the waiter pours endless refills and serves food I’ve never heard of.
17
I step out with words of love in my ears, floating down Wing Lok in an ordinary moment of bliss. With each breath the city ebbs and flows with me, like we’re all one, like nothing’s amiss. I’m over my own shoulder watching a man in the prime of his life, knowing it doesn’t get much better than this. She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm, I sing as I walk. Love is patient, love is kind.
18
I think about labels and how people are so attached to them, myself included. Like when I was vegan, I felt that anyone talking shit about veganism was talking shit about me. I took it personally. And I see it all around me now, people taking things personally. I see it in comments and emails, people telling me between the lines that something I wrote was an assault on their identity. Well, that’s not really my problem, I think but don’t say.
19
Reesh straddles me and goes in for the choke. I have to rip his right wrist away while swinging my right arm up and over, lifting my hips at the same time and making sure as we tumble that my outside knee doesn’t hit the ground. It’s a lot to remember, and I wonder if practicing a move twice a week for a few minutes is enough to make it reflexive, to make it useful in the real world. Probably not.
20
A dose of the warm fuzzies when I check my inbox to find a hundred dollar donation with a note attached: “I don’t usually comment or engage too much with your blog (i’m more of a lurker), but I read it all the time, use a lot of your suggestions and got your book off amazon when it was free. Your writing has been extremely beneficial and inspirational to me. So I just wanted to say an extra big thanks!”
21
I stand in line like a sucker, not realizing that the rules are different here. That is, there are no rules. First a heavy set woman jumps ahead of me. Okay, no big deal. I’m in no rush. But then a little old lady marches right past and slides up to the counter. The thundering bitch! Her phone rings before she’s served and she steps away for a minute. Perfect. I jump out of line and take her spot. If you can’t beat ’em…
22
I sit quietly in a coffee shop off Wyndham Street, thinking. The radio interview was fun, but once the ego quit buzzing I found myself with the same question I had two years ago, after 2FM called me on my way out of Ireland: “How did that help anyone?” I don’t have a good answer. Both times, I talked about myself and my journey, but I never offered encouragement or advice for others looking to live their own dreams. I can and should do better.
23
It’s cold and grey and there’s snow falling. Just as I get there the taillights blink out, the car pulling away quickly and disappearing around the corner. He’s probably waiting for me there, eager to play the same trick again. But fuck him. I’ve had enough. Even if he apologizes and allows me in next time, no go. We’re done. I’ll walk the rest of the way, long and uncomfortable though it will be. Thus resolved I grit my teeth, pull my collar tight, and wake up in a sweat.
24
Slow, consistent progress is the only way to make big things happen.[1. With thanks to Nathan Barry.] This has become my mantra. I get up every morning and knock out some big things before letting myself get lost in a forest of emails and comments and Facebook. A few hours of solid effort every morning, a few hours of focus, a few hours of discipline. Chipping away at that rock. Tap tap tap, until the whole thing cracks and crumbles. This is how it has to be.
25
I spend most of my time in my bedroom, in front of the laptop. Today I left the apartment for all of twenty minutes to get groceries. I bought two tins of sardines, three bananas, a head of broccoli and a bag of frozen vegetables. Tomorrow I’ll get up at five and workout again, then get right back to work. There’s nothing glamorous about my life right now, and I’m loving it.
26
The sixth bank I walk into is the only one offering hope. I won’t need a local ID, and my visitor visa is sufficient. Now I just need proof of address, a copy of my lease not acceptable. Will have to figure that one out. Once I do, I’ll have bank accounts on three continents. I’m not sure if such an arrangement will ever prove useful, but it will make me feel a little more like Jason Bourne.
27
Apparently Steve Jobs had a closet full of blue jeans, black polo necks, and little else. The idea was to avoid wasting mental energy deciding what to wear every day, so he could focus his brain power almost exclusively on high-level tasks. Here in Hong Kong, I’m trying something similar with food. I eat the same four meals every day. When I go to get groceries, I don’t need a list. It’s always some combination of the same eight foods.
28
I’m relieved to see Sergey, and quickly pair off with him. In Krav, I find it’s best to have a half-crazy partner, someone intense who won’t settle for pulled punches. And that’s Sergey. Our trainer has to tell us several times to calm down, that we’re being too rough. But fuck it, this is what I’m here for. I want that adrenaline spike, I want those bruises, I want that occasional fat lip. I’d rather learn hard lessons in the gym than on the street.
29
Early every morning, the same people, like clockwork. There’s the odd character with the shaved head sitting on the steps by McDonalds, staring into space as I run past. The man in uniform walking to work as I stretch at the first playground. The portly old chap with the cane doing laps of the second. And the little old lady who always laughs and greets me there, too. Except I haven’t seen her for three days now. I wonder if everything’s okay.
30
Hong Kong bank account: check. That was easier than I thought. I almost didn’t believe it would be possible. But hey, why even bother? It’s primarily because I don’t trust any one government, bank, economy, or currency. Having money in different accounts on different continents ensures I won’t lose everything if one tanks. Of course, my “everything” isn’t much right now. Working on it.
31
Saturday night in Hong Kong involves meeting up with two people I know only from the Internet. Jonny has visited all seven continents and was in Ethiopia three weeks ago feeding wild hyenas. Catherine is spending the year visiting influential artists in thirteen countries and narrowly escaped a bar fight in Zimbabwe. We end up with several others at a karaoke bar on Nathan Road.