These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
Sick of it all. The stress, the uncertainty, the never-ending responsibility. Working for yourself may sound glamorous, but the truth is anything but. You work longer hours for less pay and more hassle. Reached my limit today, to the point where I called into Starbucks and filled out a job application. Give me something simple to do. Clock in, make coffee, clock out, collect a paycheck. That’s more like it.
2
Getting back to doing a 24-hour fast once a week. I’m eating a little too mindlessly, using food for comfort and a sense of control. Gotta break that habit. So I had breakfast today, and no more eats until breakfast tomorrow. It gets a little tough in the afternoon, but once you get through that it’s fine.
3
Heard an old school teacher of mine on a podcast a few months ago, talking about how he got strong. Simple really: every time he went to the bathroom, he did twenty push ups. Giving that a try myself, though starting small at ten. Did about 70 push-ups today altogether. What trigger can you use to sneak in some extra exercise each day?
4
Conversation with an existing client about a new project, something big. Actually our third conversation about it. And we’ll have another on Friday. Learned from my coach to slow this kind of thing down. Explore deeply, ask hard questions, invite hard questions, look at it from the client’s perspective as much as possible. How can this be a massive win for both sides?
5
Had three hours of work scheduled this afternoon but I was exhausted so went and took a long nap. Then did a solid hour of work after. What’s better, do you think: three hours of sluggish effort, or one hour of your best? Like Abe once said, give me six hours to chop down a tree…
6
Probably 80% of the food in a typical supermarket is bad for you. And the bad stuff is usually the cheapest and most convenient. Like four big croissants covered in chocolate for €2. Thirsty? Coca-Cola is cheaper than water. And it’s everywhere. I counted sixteen separate spots where you could buy Coca-Cola in a supermarket this eve. Sixteen! The deck is stacked against us.
7
The more I think about it, the more I reckon shopping malls are doomed. Spent six hours in one yesterday, clocked about 10k walking around looking for jeans. Went in and out of every store, tried on several pairs, left without buying anything. What a waste of time and effort. Would have been infinitely better off shopping online.
8
I’m a stickler for time, find it rude and disrespectful to keep someone waiting. With that in mind, I rushed my lady out the door this morning for a brunch date with friends… who then showed up 35 minutes late. My initial response: “No worries!” Notice the disconnect there? I try hard not to disrespect other people’s time, but apparently don’t mind when they disrespect mine.
9
Big day today, started that new client project. Biggest job I’ve ever taken on, lots of challenge and growth ahead, just the way I like it. This gig should also have me sorted financially for the foreseeable future, and will take up a good chunk of time, to the point where I’ve resolved not to work with any other clients simultaneously. Prioritize and execute.
10
The best part of making more money? Being able to buy more time. There’s research to support this: “working adults report greater happiness after spending money on a time-saving purchase than on a material purchase.” Simple things like being able to easily afford 5-minute taxis across town instead of 30 minutes each time by bus.
11
The things we tell ourselves are so important. If you berate yourself every time you make a mistake, call yourself an idiot, a loser… that’s not helping. If someone else spoke to that way you’d stop spending time with them. It’s infinitely better to have positive, encouraging people in your life. But all too often we fail to be positive and encouraging to ourselves.
12
Down at Las Alcaravaneras for an evening swim. It gets fairly active here at this time. Stand-up paddle boarders. People in kayaks. Beach volleyball. Dudes with little remote control boats. Sun-bathers. Joggers. Kids playing in the sand. Shouts from the nearby courts, football and basketball. I take it all in, then put my face in the water and start throwing strokes.
13
How much of what we think, what we believe, and how we act is due to culture? Show the soles of your feet in certain countries and you’ve committed a grave offense. Today, Friday the 13th, is considered unlucky in much of the Western World, but in Spain it’s Tuesday the 13th, in Italy Tuesday the 17th. You have strong, traditional gender roles in Russia, not so much in the Netherlands.
14
Gran Canaria continues to surprise. It’s a small island, but so much to explore. Today we took a rental car with friends and wound our way through a green canyon, little houses and doorways set into the hillsides. We ate lunch and drank coffee at a cave restaurant, winding passages carved out of the mountain and tables forged from stone.
15
Wrecked tired today, skidding in broadside in a cloud of smoke. Sunday with the rental car but couldn’t make the most of it, cut short a trip to Maspalomas. Definitely pushed a bit hard the past week but don’t think I’d change anything if I had a do-over. I want to be doing the work I’m doing, want to be making the videos I’m making.
16
Four types of energy: mental, emotional, physical, spiritual. When you hit a wall like I did yesterday, it can help to ask which of those four was depleted. For me, it was mental. Had my wheels turning a lot last week, learning new things, solving problems, too many plates spinning. I had some downtime, but that was structured, too.
17
Been feeling tired and cranky lately. Which is fine if I’m by myself, but not when I’m around others. Then I find myself gossiping, complaining, starting arguments. Not they type of person I want to be. Trying to step back and recognize when I’m in that mode. Helps when others call me on it.
18
One two three, breathe. Four five six, breathe. Let your head float. Relax the shoulders. Slow down, no rush. Arms underwater, reaching over the hood of a Volkswagen Beetle. No strain, relax your muscles. The rougher the waves, the calmer you must be. Thirteen fourteen fifteen, breathe. Sixteen seventeen eighteen, breathe.
19
Which is more likely to spike your blood sugar: eating sushi, or eating ice cream? Answer: it depends on your biology. If you and I eat the same amount of cookies, our bodies may react in completely different ways. So anytime someone tells you that this diet or that diet is proven to be the healthiest, be sure to ask, “The healthiest for who exactly?”
20
Didn’t bring my phone, stuck outside in my running gear, getting dark. I work my way through the numbers, buzzing every combination. At 26 someone answers. I explain I don’t speak Russian. Fortunately, he speaks some English. But he’s skeptical. Eventually he comes to the front door of the building and opens it. I hesitate to enter, noticing he’s got a stick behind his back, sharpened at one end.
21
Signed up for a Strong Viking near Copenhagen in August. Did one a couple of years ago near Amsterdam and loved it. Also proved good motivation for taking my fitness to the next level. Starting to get more serious about it again now. Running for the second day in a row, along a railway track behind my Airbnb, past broken buildings and barking dogs and men I’ll never know.
22
Keeping up with the NBA. New Orleans just won a playoff series for the first time since 2008. Back then I was in attendance, cheering them on in that very building, notebook in hand, raw material for a report I’d later write. Seems like a lifetime ago, me as that beer-drinking, sports-obsessed, American immigrant. Good memories though, and it’s nice knowing there are still a few familiar faces in that arena.
23
I’m quite gassy, you know. Have been forever. Wakes me up some nights, disrupts my sleep. Clearly certain foods make it worse, but I’ve never taken the time to figure out which exactly. Last night was especially bad. Was it all those tomatoes I ate yesterday? Or the rice cakes? Or the peanuts? Maybe the dairy? Perhaps a combination?
24
Looking back at this very day in Momentos past:
- 2017: Giving a talk about working online in Waterford
- 2016: Alone in my apartment in Amsterdam
- 2015: Aboard a cruise ship crossing the Atlantic
- 2014: Battling a dose in Cusco, Peru
- 2013: Judging an old white man in Bangkok
This year, on this day, I’m face down on a massage table in Moscow.
25
Reading A History Of The World In 100 Objects. The more I learn about the history of humanity, the more I find to be grateful for. Think of all the trial and error our ancestors had to go through just to figure out basic shit like which berries to eat and which would kill you. There were no warning labels, no homeless shelters, no social security.
26
Once again, setting a $1000 penalty motivated me to get a lot more done than I would have otherwise. I had until the end of the month to get all the videos scripted out and emails written for a new series… and finally finished it off today. Been setting that kind of penalty for years now and have still never had to pay out. Works like magic.
27
Decision fatigue. Hit me last night doing something simple: choosing a new pair of sunglasses. Apparently that tipped me over the edge, had to take most of today off to recharge. Which is fine. Down days are a necessary part of being productive. But I wonder how I’ll manage decision fatigue when I have a family. Can’t imagine I’d be able to just take a full day off whenever.
28
Cafe in Moscow, watching the world go by. There’s a little girl bursting with life, grandma struggling to keep up. A lady on an electric scooter. A man taking his chainsaw for a walk. Some commotion down the street, couple of ambulances and four police. Sunshine in the air, green on the trees. Eating a little pastry, filled with cream cheese.
29
A couple of weeks back I wrote a Momento about friends disrespecting my time, showing up late for an appointment. And then yesterday I failed to show up at all for a scheduled Skype chat with a friend. Reminds me how when someone else messes up, it’s easy to question their character, but when we mess up ourselves, we like to blame circumstances.
30
Alright, let’s try this again, back in the saddle after another downswing. The plan this time is to never work past 6pm. Force myself to take time off before I really need it. I need rules and boundaries like that for myself, get carried away otherwise. Took some time this evening to go do groceries, sit and read, get to bed early.
