These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
To my left, a bunch of Asian looking dudes in the volleyball cage, spry and athletic. Above me, a row of bars I’ll try to traverse. And to my right, three dudes sitting on a curb, having a few drinks, probably workmen just finished for the day. Off the bars I’ll notice them passing a needle back and forth, taking turns shooting up. I’ll look at them and they’ll look at me and we’ll say nothing.
2
Coach a no-show today so I went for a run as the sun went down. Along the railway tracks, round back of a highrise I once lived in, past building sites and thirteen cranes and shady looking security guards, by sleeping junkies and a man with blood on his face and stunners in high heels, abandoned cars and new Porsches, a city with many sides.
3
If I have any kind of business “superpower,” I’d say it’s persistence. I’m rarely one to make sudden, massive progress. Mostly I grow and improve slow and steady, one small step at a time. Sometimes that’s frustrating, success taking longer than I’d like. Other times I’m reassured, knowing that success is inevitable, so long as I keep showing up and putting in the work.
4
Ever stop and think that any day, any moment, could be the verge? We could be on the brink of something right now, an event that changes the world significantly. Or you could be on the brink of something that changes your world, massively. Maybe for good, maybe for bad. Any day can be your September 10th. Any moment can be the one right before he or she comes along.
5
Last day in Moscow, not sure when I’ll be back again. Been making friends with this city the past couple of weeks, getting out more, enjoying the warmer weather, taking long walks. I still speak and understand almost zero Russian, and I’m at peace with that. Learning a language can’t be a part-time pursuit for me, and I’m not willing to make it a full. Not yet.
6
Arrived in Herceg Novi, Montenegro. This will be our home for the next four weeks. Perfect weather this eve, had a long slow dinner under some linden trees, a walk down by the harbor after, clear water, slow music, little fish, children playing. Falling in love with the place already.
7
Listening to Blindboy talk about solemnity. His friend’s dad died, went to the funeral, said “sorry for your troubles.” The friend told him later that those words broke his heart. Nobody could be real with him in that moment, everyone going through the motions, words on automatic. What he wanted from a friend was a typical comment, maybe even a joke. A dose of normality to hang on to.
8
On a group call with some good people, talking about imposter syndrome. I think you should always feel that to some extent. Otherwise you’re not really pushing your limit. What’s that saying? If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re probably in the wrong room. I’d rather be at the imposter end of the spectrum than the opposite.
9
Plenty of stories in this town. Many a people have laid claim to it over the centuries. Romans, Venetians, Russia, Serbs, Napoleon’s French Empire. There’s a fort built by the Spanish, another by Bosnians, a tower built by Austrians, another by Turks, and the calling card of a 40-year-old earthquake sticking out of the sea.
10
I have a big list of video ideas. Added this one today, raw and unedited:
- The English names we have for non-English speaking places, contrasted with what those places are called by locals or in other languages. Hindustan, for example. And does South Korea call itself “South Korea” or does it have a name completely separate from the north?
11
Watching this Google Duplex demo just made me say “NO FUCKING WAY” out loud. That is some seriously cool, and potentially scary, tech. The Turing test is defined as “a test of a machine’s ability to exhibit intelligent behavior equivalent to, or indistinguishable from, that of a human.” Seems to me that Google Duplex passes with flying colors. What comes next?
12
This new freelance gig is great but requires a lot of mental energy during the week. And I’m finding that that leaves me drained on the weekend. Today should have been great, off exploring in a rental car, seeing some amazing sights and the weather spectacular… but mostly I was tired and wanted to go home and rest.
13
Montenegro is one of the newest countries in the world, only in existence since 2006. So it’s just entering its teenage years as a sovereign nation. I’m impressed with it so far, surprised I hadn’t heard more about the place. As we travel we’re keeping an eye out for a place (or places) that could serve as a future home base. Montenegro looks like a contender.
14
In a supermarket here they have whole baby pigs shrink wrapped in the freezer. There they are, a half-dozen of them piled on top of each other, eyes closed like they’re sleeping. It’s disturbing seeing them like that, but that’s how we should see all meat. Once it’s cut up and processed it’s too easy to forget where it comes from.
15
She doesn’t like me writing about her, but I just have to say that she is incredible and I’m so glad to have her by my side. Pretty much every day I catch myself counting my lucky stars. I used to struggle to imagine being deep in a committed relationship; now I struggle to imagine being single again. Those days were fine, but this is far better.
16
Wandered up the hill this eve and found a big old fort, first built almost five hundred years ago by the Spanish, home to Turks and Austrians and Venetians and many more since. It even served as a prison during World War II. The place is abandoned now, save for a few goats roaming around inside. And me today, giddy with the thought of all the stories within those walls.
17
Legs weak, lungs about to explode. Just finished eight step sprints. Thought I was going to puke after the fifth set. I walk back to the park feeling hungover, counting my breaths, stop at a bench and catch the last of the evening sun. There are two middle-aged men across the way enjoying a couple of cans, families in the playground, two pigeons humping on a rooftop.
18
I feel uneasy, swimming in open water when I can’t see the bottom. I know there aren’t any sharks or anything to worry about here, but still. I heard someone say once that you wouldn’t walk into a pitch black forest because anything could be lurking there, so why is a sea or an ocean any different?
19
Lesson learned from last weekend, today was the perfect rest day. Short morning routine, watched some Netflix, slow cooked some meals, nap in the afternoon, nice coffee with a view, and a long walk down by the water until the sun turned in. As much as I’d love to go all-out all the time, I need regular down days like this.
20
On second thought, maybe this town wouldn’t make the best home base. A month here is fine, but you start to miss a bit of community after that. Yeah, I’m sure we could meet local people, but hard to relate to folks who work nine-to-five and live their whole lives in one place. I start to miss deep conversation with unusual people doing strange things.
21
Have my schedule set up now so it’s Monday, Wednesday, Friday for client work, and Tuesday, Thursday for my own stuff. Pretty good balance, methinks. I was doing a bit of both every day before, but it’s better to block off full days for each thing, get a good run at it.
22
Winning Through Intimidation. Reading it for the second time. Bit of a misleading title, but an excellent book. Lots there that can be applied to succeed in any walk of life. You need substance, of course, but you also need the right posture, the right image. And you need to acknowledge the way the world actually is, not how you want it to be, and respond accordingly.
23
What gets measured gets managed. So tracking everything I eat and drink now with MyFitnessPal. That should lead to some insights, and smart adjustments. Ate 2,600 calories today, about 50% carbs, 20% fat, 30% protein. You notice that the very act of tracking changes your behavior, makes you more conscious. And more conscious is always a good thing.
24
Wise words from Straight-Line Leadership:
You can find out how to do anything. The how to is never really what’s missing… Here’s what’s missing—you have not chosen to. And that’s the whole point here and that’s the major mind shift. It’s a shift from knowing to choosing. The person who is not performing is not choosing.
25
I reckon I’ve broken the Facebook trance. Apart from checking in on my private group, I’m barely on there at all nowadays. It’s over a week since I checked notifications. My messages sometimes go unanswered for days. Can’t remember the last time I looked at my timeline. It’s like any habit: tough to build or break at first, but once you’re over the hump it gets easier and easier.
26
After a long day exploring Dubrovnik, we find ourselves atop the hill above it, looking out at a spectacular sunset. It’s a beautiful scene, with a haunting twist: we’re stepping around several bunkers from 1991, where men sat and rained bombs down on the city. More than 400 people were killed during that seige. I wonder if they ever saw a sunset like this.
27
Watched that Doctor Strange movie today. Didn’t think much of it. Except for two things:
- This line: “We never lose our demons. We only learn to live above them.”
- Budget was an estimated $165–237 million. Box office was $678 million. They’re getting some serious ROI on these superhero movies.
28
This MyFitnessPal thing is a real game-changer. I’ve never been so conscious of the food I’m eating. Realizing now how much I’ve tended to overeat in the past. Especially on lazy days, like yesterday. So easy then to load up on the pasta or cereal. But the app put my calorie goal in front of me yesterday, and I stuck close to it.
29
Three-time Tour de France winner Greg LeMond once said about cycling, “It doesn’t get easier, you just go faster.” Feeling a bit tired and frustrated today, I wonder if the same is true with my work. Maybe I have gotten better, but it doesn’t feel any easier, because now I’m going faster, tackling bigger problems, taking more responsibility.
30
When you find yourself tired at the end of the day, there are two ways to look at it. One is to be frustrated, like I was yesterday. Another is to appreciate that you’ve made the most of the day, expended your fill of energy, held nothing back. Words from da Vinci come to mind: “As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.”
31
Listening to an interview with Peter Thiel. His views are interesting, but even more interesting is how he answers questions. He always seems to examine the premise of a question first, to see if he agrees with it or not. And quite often, he doesn’t. Made me realize how I tend to answer questions automatically, without pausing to consider the assumptions baked into them.
