These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
30 minutes ago I was appreciating these people and wishing them well. Now we’re all in a dangerous crush to leave the beach. Typical shirtless dudes with tattoos and muscles and beer breath, reckless on scooters. I’m glad I don’t live in Canggu.
2
Going through the top content I produced last year, seeing what needs updating. It’s tempting to dive into creating more content, but I have to hold back. Much of what I’ve already done is working well. Best invest some time in making that work even better.
3
There’s a common misconception that belief in God runs along a spectrum: theist at one extreme, agnostic in the middle, atheist at the other end. But you can be agnostic and atheist at the same time. The opposite would be gnostic theist. This chart drove it home for me.
4
A little after five, still dark out. I wanted to sleep longer, but I like this time. It’s about as quiet as it gets. Although Ubud never gets proper quiet. Even at 5am during Nyepi, I’ll probably still be hearing roosters crowing, geckos chirping, dogs barking.
5
From Being Mortal:
Death is the enemy. But the enemy has superior forces. Eventually, it wins. And in a war that you cannot win, you don’t want a general who fights to the point of total annihilation. You don’t want Custer. You want Robert E. Lee, someone who knows how to fight for territory that can be won and how to surrender it when it can’t, someone who understands that the damage is greatest if all you do is battle to the bitter end.
6
On the monthly group call this eve, shared a bit about my experience with modafinil. It’s been working well for me. Much better than coffee, in many respects. A sharper, prolonged focus without jitters or stomach issues. But I’ve only been taking two pills a week.
7
After dark, riding the scooter in traffic through swarms of flying termites. The roads here are hairy at the best of times, but this takes it to another level. One of the feckers gets in my eye as we’re driving. Only the geckos are happy right now.
8
Another war in the Middle East would be a shit thing for stupid reasons. But how much would it actually affect our day-to-day lives? Thinking back to 2003, when the US invaded Iraq… if you’d stayed away from news sources, would you have known that was even happening?
9
My holy trinity of habits seems to be working well. Every morning, first thing: stretch, meditate, free write. My back feels better and I’m less anxious overall, fingernails growing back nice. The trick is to keep doing these things every morning, continually giving myself that gift.
10
Naval Ravikant lists three things that can’t be bought: a fit body, a calm mind, a house full of love. Doesn’t matter how much money you have, you can’t order those things overnight. They must be cultivated over long stretches of time.
11
I’m definitely a morning person, excited to start each day and nicely exhausted each night. Words from Leonardo Da Vinci are never far from my mind:
“As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.”
12
At this spa near the birthplace of Ubud, dug into the side of the hill. We dip in and out of hot and cold pools, surrounded by creatures carved into the columns, walls, ceiling, lush jungle beyond. Four hours here costs about the same as a meal at McDonald’s in London.
13
I remember this exact morning twenty years ago. I was sat in the sports hall with the rest of the class. I was depressed, sad news hit me hard a few hours earlier. The teacher had us pick numbers. Of course, I picked thirteen. Unlucky, said the teacher. And that somehow gave me a little comfort.
14
Tis a Tuesday morning and four of us are off rafting down a random river. Gentle waterfalls, big lizards, art carved in the riverbank. The guide is good and the water’s easy. Rafting can be a rush, but today it’s more hush, like a slow-moving meditation.
15
Blindboy has a great line: effective communication happens in the language of the receiver. Came to mind today while reading a request for my time. A request so tactless it might as well have been written in a different language.
16
Once, when I was young and drunk, I stole a bottle of whiskey and pissed on the steps of a courthouse to impress some friends. Teenagers do shit like that. And most, like me, never suffer any consequences. Some do though, and their lives go off in a different direction.
17
Putting in the reps today, even though I’d rather not.
“When a habit is truly important to you, you have to be willing to stick to it in any mood. Professionals take action even when the mood isn’t right. They might not enjoy it, but they find a way to put the reps in.” – James Clear, Atomic Habits
18
I’m an affiliate for several companies. One in particular is a pain in the ass. They don’t pay on a schedule. They might never pay at all if I didn’t badger them relentlessly via email. Badly run companies like that motivate me. I’m determined to build better.
19
We’ve tried a bunch of massage places here in Ubud. New one this eve stands out for a simple reason: they ask for feedback. All it takes is four simple words: “Is the pressure okay?” Amazing how few businesses ask their customers this kind of thing.
20
Typically, this Udemy review I’m doing is turning into a beast. I should really cut it down to size and publish something “good enough,” but I find that very hard to do. This isn’t some kind of humble brag either. This shitty perfectionism holds me back quite a bit.
21
Cold pool at the spa. Lasted fifteen seconds my first time here. Now I’m up to five minutes. Keep your hands closed and the water still and you hardly feel it after a while. It becomes a meditation, mind clear, lost in the reflection of concrete monsters.
22
Woke a little after four, got up soon after. Dressed in the dark, went outside and saw the belly of the moon. Started work downstairs, kept the light off in case the termites got frisky. Almost two hours passed before I realized what I was wearing.
23
With some people, you speak a language nobody else can understand. The way I occasionally speak with my best friend, for example. I don’t speak with anyone else that way. Same with my girlfriend, only it’s a different language again, one my best friend wouldn’t recognize.
24
Experimented this week. Four consecutive days, half a modafinil each day. Bad idea. Most I usually do is two consecutive. Four has really messed up my sleep. Averaging 5.5 hours the past four nights and developed a headache. Fuck that. Taking three days to rest.
25
Found a basketball scrimmage and loving it. Decide to sit out the second half though, lower back feels a bit delicate. My ego really wants me to keep playing, but that wouldn’t be smart. I’m old enough now to tell my ego to piss off. Well, sometimes.
26
If I’d been living in Bali ten years ago, I’d probably be based down in Canggu, out every weekend, riding around on a scooter, drunk without a helmet. The police will let you do that here. And so many people do, environment enabling poor choices.
27
I’ve been a basketball fan for 25 years. I was obsessed with it for 15. Pretty much all that time, Kobe was there. Now, suddenly, he’s gone, and the world doesn’t feel quite right. Can’t stop thinking about his last moments, helpless, seeing the terror in his child’s eyes.
28
Started feeling sick around lunchtime. Fever, diarrhea, that kind of thing. Called the doctor, drew some blood. Three possibilities: a) dengue again… b) coronavirus… c) bacterial infection. They say it will take 2-3 hours to get the results. Waiting…
29
So I’ll be mostly housebound for a few days, eating bland food and taking a bunch of pills. It won’t be pleasant but I’m feeling lucky. This was the best possible outcome. Nothing too serious, no hospital needed. And I can easily afford the downtime.
30
The rainy season has finally hit Bali good and proper. Still got the bug in my belly but errands to run so I’m out on the scooter, trying to stay sharp, avoid slips and swipes. You’d think people would be more careful on the wet roads but the madness persists.
31
Watched The Pursuit of Happyness last night. Just because you get a good outcome doesn’t mean you made a good decision. That guy took an insane risk considering he had a child to look after. They don’t make movies about people who take similar risks and get the more probable outcome.