These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
It’s possible to get everything you want and still end up miserable, even suicidal. So getting what you want clearly doesn’t guarantee happiness. You have to tend to your mental health along the way, learn to make the most of whatever situation you find yourself in.
2
Sometimes I wonder if life is anything more than one big task list, and me trying to check off as many items as I can. But every time I check one off, two more appear. What would it be like to have a day where I truly didn’t try to accomplish anything? Would that be a good day?
3
Meeting lawyers in Andorra, figuring out the best way to move here and all the hoops we’ll need to jump through. Among other things, there’s a €15,000 entry fee, and I’ll need to show I have no criminal record in my country of origin and country of residence.
4
Pushed too close to my limit and now my brain is shutting down, refusing to process anything more. A numbness ensues, hard to feel motivated or excited about anything. I can still do things, but mainly habitual things that don’t require me to think or decide.
5
This little old town has shuttered stores with faded signs, probably haven’t been open for decades. I walk up a small street to the castle. This hilltop was once the seat of regional power. It’s mostly a ruin now, grounds overgrown, walls crumbling.
6
Some kind of road accident on the way home, big traffic jam, emergency vehicles up ahead. Surprised I don’t see this more often. Think how many cars are on the road every day and how easily people get distracted, make poor decisions. I’ve been lucky so far, never been in a serious road accident.
7
I’d love to dive back into Spanish practice and study. And I’ve been thinking to start a podcast. But I have to be careful with such notions. I constantly feel like I don’t have enough time. Adding new projects to my plate doesn’t ease that feeling.
8
Staying at this Airbnb a few weeks, we have the bottom floor of a three-story house. The owners run a bakery, sometimes gift us carb-heavy sugary treats, like churros. We thank them and accept, because it seems rude not to. But we can’t bring ourselves to eat this stuff anymore.
9
Hired a helicopter to take us up into the mountains, far away from everywhere, landing alongside a frozen lake. I take her hand and guide her through the snow. There’s no surprise here. We planned it together. In a moment we’ll stop and I’ll drop and ask her the question.
10
At an entrepreneur meetup in Andorra, sipping water at a wine bar, brushing off my dusty social skills. I was tired heading to this thing but somehow it energized me. It’s probably the confirmation that the community in this tiny little country is full of interesting people.
11
There’s a public park perched on a steep hillside near the Spanish border, filled with big statues of wild and extinct animals. Dinosaurs, reptiles, wolves and horses. I’m chasing a 5-year-old around this surreal landscape, making sure he doesn’t tumble into the valley.
12
Before diving into her whole book, I look for podcast interviews the author has done, see if I can get the gist. Listening to her on a walk today, explaining how nothing is harder than doing nothing, and how everything becomes fascinating when you look close enough.
13
We fly into Kutaisi at around midnight. The weather is damp and foggy in Georgia. We pass limping stray dogs in the potholed car park, bundle into a minivan. Driver tells us we have to pass through 70 kilometers of road works on the way to Tbilisi. We might get home by 4am.
14
A study in 2008 measured the impact of “seeing friends or relatives less than once a month” compared to “seeing friends or relatives on most days.” Apparently moving from the former to the latter gives a happiness boost that’s equivalent to earning an extra $100,000+ per year.
15
One way to improve quality of life is to recognize small-but-persistent annoyances or inconveniences and gradually remove them. You might need to spend some time or money up front, but fix enough of these issues and the benefits stack up nicely.
16
Got engaged last week. The proposal was fairly epic, had a helicopter take us to the top of a mountain alongside a frozen lake, popped the question there. Got some great pics but haven’t posted them online. I think I’ve just soured on social media, less inclined to share on there.
17
When you think about, most stress is stupid. Getting stressed over something rarely helps improve the situation. The problem remains plus you have to deal with the mental and physical toll stress puts on you. If only there were a switch you could flip to turn it off.
18
Exhausted this afternoon, wrapping up a long work week. All I really wanted to do was stay home and chill out for the evening. But we had plans to meet friends for dinner. And of course I ended up enjoying that and coming away energized. Sometimes the best rest is a different activity.
19
Meetup at a bar called The World’s End, but it feels like a new beginning. Thirty or so people here. I take a break from the banter to look around and appreciate that this is what we all wanted to get back to for the last two years. Maybe this is it, out the other end.
20
Heard this idea on a podcast recently: write up a big list of things you can do to relax or unwind. It’s like a to-do list, but with self-care as the focus rather than productivity. I categorized my list into things I could do in 5 minutes or less, 30 minutes or less, and more than 30 minutes.
21
Another day where I’m not as productive as I’d like to be, my psyche rebelling, not wanting to do much of anything. The sooner I accept it, the better. Otherwise it’s like being stuck in the middle of winter, pining for summer.
22
Turning 40 years old in 3 weeks. The only way I’d want to be 20 again is if I could take everything I’ve learned with me. Otherwise I’d just end up repeating the same experiences, the same highs and lows, learning and forgetting the same lessons. What would be the point?
23
My lowest lows aren’t as low as they used to be. Part of that is being in a relationship. When you live alone and can completely hide away from the world, it’s easier to self destruct, to binge on crappy food and TV shows, stay up late, neglect basic hygiene.
24
Been avoiding reading about Russia invading Ukraine. I remember how reading about the impending pandemic stressed and depressed me 2 years ago, and that was something that more directly affected me. But it seems irresponsible to keep my eyes closed on this thing.
25
That girl in the supermarket before, doing product promotion. I was the guy who avoided eye contact, hoped she wouldn’t approach me. When did I become that guy? Younger me would have welcomed the interaction, had fun with it, left her smiling. Gotta get back to that.
26
Stunned at the righteousness of this Russian TV presenter posting to her 440k followers on Instagram:
Russia’s military operation to demilitarize and denazify Ukraine is fully consistent with international law… This is a peacekeeping operation – the end of the genocide and the prevention of an attack on Russia and its allies… all these years I suffered from the fact that the fraternal peoples of Russia and Ukraine were separated!
27
With Trump, I used to read crazy quotes from him and figure they must be taken out of context. Then I’d go find the full text and see his words were somehow even worse in context. Sat through twenty minutes of a recent Putin speech today. Same thing.
28
With the world going mad, we do the thing and flee to a high floor of a fancy hotel. Cozy robes, our favorite food, floating into a massage. History is full of surprises, no sense predicting what comes next. Maybe we’d go faster alone, but we’ll go further together.