These are my Momentos, short personal diary entries I write daily – since 2013 – and publish monthly. Some links are affiliate links.
1
As kids, a friend and I pretended some bad guys tied us up and we had to escape. My buddy made out like the ropes were loose and it was easy to get free. I didn’t like that. I wanted it to be hard, wanted to earn it. I still often think that way, sometimes to my detriment.
2
I used to have to discipline myself to push through and get the work done. Now I have to discipline myself to stop working and rest up. Didn’t do a good job of that today, pushed more than I should have. It’ll probably catch up with me tomorrow.
3
Slept only 7 hours last night so did a 20-minute NSDR session in the afternoon to make up for it. Been doing these a few times a week lately. Huberman naps, I call them. So far, they seem to be working better than regular naps, or pushing through, or tons of coffee.
4
Okay, so those naps aren’t enough to keep the burnout at bay. I was still pushing too hard and today it was time to pay the price. Had to take the afternoon off, brain had turned to mush. Planted myself on the couch and watched a couple of movies.
5
Sometimes I don’t know what to write here so I’ll just jump on Twitter for a minute to see if that will bring some inspiration, but now it’s twenty minutes later and I’ve just been scrolling through dumb memes the whole time.
6
Day three of my downswing, but these days aren’t so bad. Used to be that I’d go completely off the rails, binge-watch TV shows, eat a load of crap, stay up til all hours. Nowadays I keep the diet on track, do my steps and stretching every day, and get to bed around eleven.
7
Social interactions drain me a lot more than they used to. I wonder is it just because I’m out of practice. I used to be very social, actively seeking out opportunities to talk to people. Now chatting with a vendor at this market for a few minutes leaves me drained.
8
There’s virtually no crime in Andorra, or at least no serious crime. So used to it now I usually take it for granted. I’ve lived in many places where crime was rampant, constantly had to keep an eye over my shoulder. Nice not to have to worry about that kind of thing anymore.
9
Now the downswing has passed, I spent some time this morning writing up a doc entitled, Things to remember when I’m feeling burned out. Tempting to get caught up in dark thoughts and destructive behaviors when I’m feeling that way. Good to offset them with some reminders from my clearer-thinking self.
10
I read a lot less books than I used to, mostly novels now, still enjoying the DC Smith series. I’ve mostly replaced non-fiction books with podcasts. Can listen while I do other things, and hearing an author being interviewed about their book gives me the gist of it.
11
Lost in the flow of it today, clocked a good few hours getting these pages and IDs and shortcodes sorted out. Might have gone too much into the weeds actually. Need to step back a bit in the coming days and make sure what I’m doing here fits into the overall plan.
12
When things are going well in my business, I start thinking this won’t last forever, better work hard and make hay while the sun shines. When things are going poorly in my business, I start thinking I’d better work hard so I can turn things around. A friend tells me this way of thinking is akin to a gambling addict at a casino.
13
My site traffic is down a bit lately. My next hire will be an SEO person, someone to keep track of our rankings and tweak the content as needed. Right now we’re not keeping track of any of that. We’re just publishing new content consistently and hoping for the best.
14
Trying to be more conscious now of approaching burnout. Had to take my foot off the gas today, could feel it getting close. Embraced the downtime and indulged in another movie, There Will Be Blood. Definitely saw it before, but not since I started keeping my movie log in 2012.
15
A long walk in the woods, trying to be present and soak it all in, stop sometimes and cycle through the senses. The changing color of the soil, signs of squirrels, a tree with the bark all scraped off, the trickle of distant running water, the hint of a deer that way.
16
The weather has turned moody, less blue sky, more cloud drifting through the mountains. And plenty of yellow and orange in the trees now, too. I love living in a place with distinct seasons. Andorra might be the best place I’ve ever lived for that.
17
Out of bed at 1am, contemplating taking apart the couch to eliminate an insect. I resist the idea for a while, but eventually give in. Afterwards, I’m annoyed at that resistance. It wasn’t necessary, made the whole ordeal much harder than it had to be.
18
Sticky note on my desktop is a quote from The 7 Habits…
Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation.
It’s not what they’re not doing or should be doing that’s the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing.
If you start to think the problem is “out there,” stop yourself. That thought is the problem.
19
I think I’m a good boss, most of the time. I always pay invoices ASAP, try to give people the benefit of the doubt and not be a hard-ass. I’m not much for company culture though. I never do team calls, rarely do team chats, and I have individual calls with team members once a month at most.
20
My bank changed my account details on short notice and I was all pissed having to go through dozens of affiliate portals, updating the payout info. But thanks to all that I found $1000’s of unclaimed commissions I wouldn’t have seen otherwise. Feeling a bit like the farmer whose horse ran away.
21
Blown away by Wembanyama so far. The other night he nutmegged a guy on the break. Last night he blocked Steph, Klay and Wiggins in the same game. Physically he’s a freak of nature, and he seems intent on fulfilling his potential. If he can stay healthy, I reckon he has a fair shot at becoming the best to ever do it.
22
Another Sunday in the forest. Not so peaceful this time, as I have a deadline to complete the loop and get back to the car. But I enjoy this too, the challenge of getting up and over the mountain in a hurry. Ends up being 2+ hours of strenuous exercise. Tired and blistered but happy after.
23
Still working my way through these affiliate portals, spent a couple of hours at it today. Found two companies who kicked us out of their programs weeks ago without notice. So we were still sending them regular traffic but no chance of earning a commission. Sneaky.
24
I haven’t been willing to make Spanish study a priority, but I do a bit every day, nothing intense. I’ve definitely improved a lot in the past year, but still having lots of interactions like I had today, where the person is speaking to me for several seconds and I have no idea what they’re saying.
25
Awake too early. Embraced it. Basketball is back, bright star in a dark blue sky. Running up that road, running up that hill. Coffee and coconut, edit and proofread, test task via ChatGPT. Calls with Belgrade, Bucharest, São Paulo. Evening walk through the yellow and brown.
26
Border run to pick up an Ikea order. It’s hit and miss as to whether they stop you coming back. Often the person in the booth doesn’t don’t even look as you pass through. But today I got pulled over, had to show the receipt for the order. Cheap enough that I didn’t have to pay the tax.
27
Feeling weird today, not quite sick but definitely not healthy. It isn’t the usual case of burnout either. Slept a lot last night and a long nap today, didn’t make much difference. Methinks I’d rather a short and intense illness than a long slow not-too-bad thing like this.
28
Doesn’t bother me if someone is into a particular conspiracy theory. But when they’re into numerous conspiracy theories… that’s a big red flag. Because then I’m dealing with someone who is conspiracy minded, and those kind of people are hard to reason with.
29
It’s good to have a distraction, something to take my mind off work completely. I have three of them actually: basketball, movies, and comedy. Been listening to a lot of basketball podcasts lately. I like that it holds my interest, but I don’t get too caught up in it. Whoever wins or loses doesn’t really matter.
30
Spent a good bit of time cooking and cleaning today. I don’t enjoy either. One of the main reasons I want to earn more money is so I can hire people to do that stuff for me. Might be hard to find someone good here in Andorra though. Downside of living in a tiny country.
31
Tired and hungry after a crazy few hours, sitting on this bench to eat a big packed lunch. But I open the container and instead of the nice meal I prepared this morning, it’s packed with unpeeled sweet potatoes. I’m slightly annoyed, and very amused.